I’m very much single at the moment. In fact, I have been for about, oh, I don’t know, twenty of the twenty years I’ve been alive. And I don’t like it one bit. I’ve tried the dating site thing. And that was a fucking mistake. It broke me in half. Particularly because nobody visits my profile. And yes, I’m being totally honest on my profile. Down to the fact that I am overweight and I’m having a gastric bypass soon.
And that’s what I think is scaring them off. And I think that. Is. Absolute Crap. With two capital letters. As if I don’t feel bad enough about my body, complete strangers come and piss on my parade. Either that or they’re like 59 years old. Which, kinda creepy.
Also, lets keep in mind that I haven’t even had a boyfriend. Ever. I don’t even know what I want anymore. Do I want to have a casual, flirty, fling thing? Do I skip everything I missed in my teens and dive straight into a relationship? I dunno. I fancy a bit of flirting, but nobody ever flirts back, probably because the stomach puts them off. I do like to flirt once in a while. Especially when I’m in London. The handsome cashier at HMV is just too good to resist. A big smile and some banter and I’m melting behind the counter. Or is that just because I crave attention from hot men?
Speaking of hot men, there aren’t any over here in my neck of the woods. I actually have to go to the city to find men. And that is just sad.
I’m frustrated, can you tell?