late for Lady Porn Day

So, as most of you know, last week was the first Lady Porn Day. Since everyone but the rabbit has made a contribution to this, and to make up for the fact that I didn’t, here it is now.

My first time watching erotica… crikey, that was a long time ago. What do I mean by erotica? Think of the Emanuelle films. Late at night, in my room, I would watch these movies. And get a tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach. Now, I did know what masturbation was. I just didn’t fancy doing it. Now, porn. A few months ago, I was dallying around on my computer and decided to do it. Red Tube. You Porn. The works. My computer was in the dining room, next to the living room and let me tell you, watching porn for the first time with your mum in the next room… yeah, not funny.

I turned the computer on silent and watched. And I don’t really know why, but I was transfixed. In a bad way. I mean, the names of the videos alone scared the shit out of me. But something was tingling inside of me. And it wasn’t long before I took my computer upstairs, put on one of those videos and played with myself.

So, what do I like? What turns me on?

I like sites like Beautiful Agony. It’s so much more erotic than regular porn. I like watching a woman or a man I don’t know in the throes of pure ecstasy. I don’t know what it is that turns me on about it. I like certain sex scenes in movies as well. These sex scenes mostly involve this:

A bit of this:

And mostly, they end with this

Do you notice a pattern here? Yep, it’s the same guy. And he’s my porn. Jason Statham is my fetisj and my porn and everything that keeps me together at the moment.

By the way, if you haven’t see the movie Crank, and you are wondering why he is actually punching the air with joy…. he’s happy to be alive. And by the looks of it, so is Amy Smart… she seems awfully surprised as well. Maybe my theory is right and he is well hung…

Forget I said that. Really, forget I said that. Erase that from your mind. After you have the naughty thoughts.

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