I like boys. I like girls.

I have liked both for over ten years. Coming out has been an awful bitch to me, and I had several “false starts”, where I came out of the closet and went back in. It took a shit-load of courage for me to come out properly, and I finally did it over a plate of chips and Belgian-style beef casserole in the hospital cafeteria, waiting for an appointment with my psychiatrist.

But now, I’m out. And I’m discovering this whole new, multifaceted world of sexuality, that is both intriguingly colorful and quite scary.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned on Twitter that I don’t mind what you call my orientation. Even if you call me Purple Monkey, I’m fine with it.

My friend Andy pointed out, as a joke that Purple Monkey was most likely going to stick with me, but that Queer was the popular term. So, I dubbed myself Jilly, The Purple Queer Monkey. Without really knowing what Queer meant.

So, I decided to dip my toes into the Queer pool. And I can heartily say that I quite like what I’m seeing. The Queer community is passionate and fantastic, and if there are any people who identify as Queer who read this blog , I’d love to get to know you and chat.

I also discovered the holy grail of Queer porn. Crash Pad. I’ve heard about Crash Pad before, but I saw some of the Become a Member trailers. Namely the one with the GORGEOUS Dylan Ryan and Trucker Cash. Awesomesauce doesn’t begin to cover it.

All in all, I’m quite liking being out. I quite like that I’m now able to openly express my feelings about girls and boys and not get weird looks for it.

Now, I want to make something clear. I didn’t just decide to be bisexual one day, for laughs. This has been a process of acceptance for many, many years and I am very glad to have come this far, although I still have a long way to go.

If you like any information on bisexuality, you can go here.


The Bisexual Index

To conclude this article, I just want to say that being bisexual, just like being gay or lesbian or Queer or trans or anything, isn’t scary. Not in the slightest.

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  1. I identify as queer but I suspect that people tend to mean all sorts of different things when they use that word. Basically, I consider myself bisexual for sure. I have some attachment to the word pansexual because I also am attracted to people who fall outside ‘the gender binary’. I like looking at chicks with dicks (although I don’t like the ‘obviously trans’ look, I prefer girls who can ‘pass’ as cis-women). I don’t call myself pansexual though because I don’t feel I can claim that word as my own yet.

    I identify as queer because that’s a word I’ve chosen to sort of encompass alternative sexualities. I say gay when I mean gay and bi when I mean bi, but queer is a good word to cover these as a whole (LGBTQ+WTFBBQ is far too clunky and I think queer covers it just fine). Queer for me pretty much means ‘not straight’. It’s a handy shorthand but I’ve only lately started to claim it for myself.

    “To conclude this article, I just want to say that being bisexual, just like being gay or lesbian or Queer or trans or anything, isn’t scary. Not in the slightest.”

    Damn right. It’s awesome. Though I can understand why, in the society we live in at least, people are scared of it at first. I’m happily bisexual now but I remember a time when I was scared that I might be a lesbian because I liked girls. It’s not scary once you accept yourself though.

    (Also, some of the above was slightly tongue in cheek. I’m aware that queer and LGBT and the vast and varied gender spectrum comes with an awful lot of word-baggage that I’m not overly good at sifting through, so apologies if I offend anyone. This is just my take on things, for my sins.)

    • Thanks for replying, Blacksilk, means an awful lot to me. And don’t worry, I’m not good at the word-baggage myself.

      It is awesome! But there is still a lot of prejudice about it, and I would love nothing more than to help that be a thing of the past.



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