I had a little chat with my good friend Elenya , about periods and sex and the combination of the two. It made me thing about my own period, and my rocky history with it.

I was barely out of my childhood when “Aunty Flo” first visited. It was on a Thursday, in sixth grade. I had no pads and was forced to sit on my jacket the entire day. I was in boarding school 1 at the time, and when I showed my bloody jacket to one of the pedagogues, they fussed over me, and immediately provided me with the equipment.

That didn’t stop me from being incredibly upset. I remember crying my eyes out on the phone to my mum and refusing to go to school the next day. We weren’t off to a good start, Flo and I.

And the shit continued when, a few months later, I was admitted to the teen psych ward (because they presumed I had autism). My timing with my period was very fucked up, and when it happened unexpectedly so, I felt quite embarrassed. I left bloody spots everywhere. Nobody wanted to sit on the chair I had sat on, because I had “soiled it with my blood”. They even called it my “throne”.

2-0, advantage Flo.

Third time round, I beat that bitch to the punch. I expertly hid away any evidence of bloody stuff, so no-one could see what I was going through. I felt like I had conquered her. Did I fuck!

But, over the years, I started to accept Flo as a good, regular friend. I became very good at timing when I needed to change pads and rarely had an “accident”. I didn’t feel embarrassed anymore. Success!

Yeah, right.

When sex came into my life, like the fucking huge bulldozer of a thing it is, I never really thought about masturbating during my period. At first, I would masturbate during the regular weeks, then hold off during the week of my period. Considering the notion of masturbating during was something that never occurred to me.

I have tried a few times, on the days my period finishes. And I felt quite weird. Sometimes, I just come. Sometimes, I pull out my vibe and check if there’s blood on it. I have no idea why I do that! It’s not like I’m a freak of nature for occasionally bleeding out of my fanny, is it?

When I do masturbate during my period, I tend to go for my fingers, rather than my vibe, but occasionally, the Pin comes into play (where the fuck would I be without the Pin? It’s like Old Faithfull!). It does leave stains, but it doesn’t make it any less pleasurable. My advice is to lie down with a towel under your bum. And, you know, enjoy doing it! It’s not like it’s any different from masturbating during normal weeks.

I have heard from people having full-on sex during their period, and whilst it seems quite tempting to me, I think I need to get over a major psychological barrier to actually do it. The first few months of me having my period were positively traumatic and I can’t really face other people seeing me having it.

Thats why I was so embarrassed before my surgery. I had it on the exact day I went under the knife.

So, I guess this is still a process of acceptance for me. A very slow one, that.

But I’ll get there. I remain hopeful that, one day, Flo and I will be besties for life.


I was inspired to write this post by a truly gorgeous woman (and I’ve been face to face with her, trust me, she is gorgeous), called Rubyyy Jones. She calls herself a writer, performer and a muse, and has been the muse for this post, so I’d like to thank her for that. Read her post, The Crimson Wave.

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  1. A really interesting post to hear the troubles you’ve had with coming to terms with ‘Flo’. Similarly, I’ve come to accept her, rather than love her, having had some awful moments/accidents in the past.

    There have been two times when I’ve started DURING sex, Mister’s pulled out and completely freaked out thinking he’d broken me, and whilst he’s said he would be completely fine with having full-on sex during, I am not. Which makes it all the harder as I’m usually so very turned on and horny at that time!

    LP x

    • Thanks for replying, LadyP. It’s a hard thing to learn to love, but I’ve managed.

      DURING? Crimeny, that must have been quite traumatic for Mister! But it’s good that he doesn’t object to full-on sex during. But it is quite a barrier to get over and I can totally understand that you don’t.


  2. I am so glad you decided to write this post and leave your link on my Period Drama page. The more woman who write openly about their relationship with their period and sex the better in my opinion. I have discovered that many many woman find this a very difficult subject to talk about yet in the same breath crave information.

    I spent many years believing that my period made me unattractive and to be honest it is still a feeling that haunts me from time to time but Sir has gone a long way to prove to me that he doesn’t care one way or another. I am always sexy to him. We often have sex during my period now. It just makes for a more interesting mess!


  3. Love your post. I thankfully had begun to wrangle my period by the time I was sent to boarding school, although I still had a few stained sheets incidents. I always felt for the girls who got their first period whilst they were so far from their mums.

    I’d absolutely love you to add your post to my link list of period related posts @ http://www.screaming-violet.com/2011/10/red-october/

    xox Violet

    • Hello Violet!

      Oh god, don’t I know it! I hated being away from my mum and getting my period for the first time 😦

      Sure, you can add me to the link list!


  4. Jillyyy!
    Thank you very much 🙂
    I feel badly that I haven’t seen this yet and I’m thrilled to have been a muse to you!
    Wonderful post and best of luck on your journey
    Love and Light


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