I had a brief, illicit encounter with myself last night.

It started when we went shopping (bought The Ethical Slut, amongst other things at Waterstones). Whilst my mum went to look for something she had seen in a catalogue, I went to the nearby cd store. I had a very clear idea of what I wanted.

Criminal Minds series 1. Shemar Moore and Matthew Gray Gubler.

So, I browsed a bit, and eventually landed in the wrong section. If you can call it a section. The fifteen or so dvds that made up the adult entertainment section were all a bit pissy. Except for one.

Malice in Lalaland.

I grabbed that thing and held on to it like Gollum holding on to the Ring. Except that My Precious was a porn movie.

Last night, I dimmed the lights and crawled under my duvet to watch Sasha Grey being her sexy self. Also, Keni Stylez is the Cheshire Cat. As a man. Who wears a cat head mask thing. I can’t think straight talking about this movie.

Beautifully filmed, almost cinematic, with music that I never expected to turn me on, but fuck me, it did.

The bass.

The pounding drums.

I creamed myself at the sensory overload this movie created for me. So, I managed something which has become a rarity in my life. I fingered my way to an orgasm, sans vibrator.

Now, finger-induced orgasms have been more common in the last few weeks. They usually occur after a vibe/finger wank. And goooooood they feel good.

But yesterday, I wasn’t intent on getting the Rock Chic (I take back everything I said about you, darling, because you are fabulous, never die on me, kthxbai) out. I was aiming for full finger fucking, which happened and oh my god, did it happen.

I don’t remember much of what happened during, because I was in this weird private universe where only me and the movie existed. The eventual orgasm was a fucking sharp one that had my teeth on edge.

The funniest thing about the whole affair was that my nipples, I kid you not, have never been harder before than at the moment after my orgasm. I giggled, playing around with them, imagining a very sexy man, quite possibly nicknamed Jay, watching me and being highly amused.

Or was that Saturday night? Fuck, I can’t remember.

Malice made me come. And she made me come good.

(PS: I watched Criminal Minds after that and it was gooooood. SheMubler forever!)

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