For the longest time, I have had this desire. And for once, it’s not a complicated one, like open my own publishing house, write a succesful novel or do something amazing for charity.

It is a desire that overtakes many people, mostly in the midst of summer.

Alright, I’ll confess. I’d love to sleep naked once.

You heard me correctly. I have never slept naked before. I have never felt my crisp, cool sheets against my skin.

Why? For the simple reason that I can not stand being naked. I feel awkward when I’m in the buff. In fact, I prefer showers to baths, simply because they require me to be naked for a lesser amount of time. I’m terribly embarrassed to even stand in my underwear when I try on clothes. And I can go on!

The only time I can even attempt to try to like myself naked is when I’m in the dark, in my bed, masturbating. Usually, I take off my pants and underwear and just do it like that, but occasionally I take all my clothes off.

And it seems I just can’t enjoy myself when I do it. I fucking hate being naked.

It’s obvious why. I still can’t look at myself in the mirror without seeing 32 extra kilos stuck on me, like an askew piece of plasticine from kindergarten.

I can admire people who like being naked. Naked Jen is one of them.

I think I can learn a lot from people like her. Like the fact that, hey, non-sexual nudity does exist, and we should enjoy being able to just be naked.

I don’t really know what to think about being naked. I think when push comes to shove, I’ll actually manage to be clothed during sex. I can’t imagine anyone finding my wobbly bits (© Bridget Jones) attractive.

In mentioning Bridget Jones, I do realise how fucked up that movie has made me. I now depend on finding someone who loves me just the way I am, like Arsey Darcy in the movie.

Movies like Bridget Jones are fun to watch, but they also play into long-harbored insecurities, I think. Even with men! I shit you not when I tell you that my dad (who went to see Bridget Jones’s Diary with us) actually cried at the end.

Mind you, my dad also cried at the end of The Princess Diaries. And Signs. And many other movies.

I realise it is extremely hypocritical of me to say this, because I don’t love my own body. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting other people to love theirs.

So, I’d say take it slowly. Maybe just take your shirt off and look at yourself in the mirror, topless. Think of what you like, not what you don’t like. And work from there, to the point of absolute nudieness.

Take a page out of the girl in the picture’s book (I think it’s the sexy London Andrews baring all there). Confidence is the key. And I know from experience it is a long and hard slog getting there, but it can be worth it.

Promise. I’ll even shake you on it.

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  1. I have no problem being naked. It is other people who have a problem with me being naked. LOL.

  2. Can’t believe you never slept naked, I like it! Also as a person who likes to go to the sauna I obviously have no problem with being naked around other people 😉

  3. Women seem to get more confident as they get older. If all else fails, just wait a year or 2.

    I like being naked but I spend hardly any time at all nude really. and I spend most of my time trying to wear as many clothes as possible.

  4. Being naked is the most natural thing in the world. I can understand that you might be uncomfortable with your body, but have you ever seen REAL people naked ? not just the ones in porno/art nudes ? believe me they are all shapes & sizes and when you are naked amongst them you realise that you can accept your body for what it is.


    Would be happy to discuss further if you like @GetFettled fettler99 @


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