Just Write Your Arse Off

I call myself a writer of erotica. No, scratch that, I deem myself a “lusty word whore and naughty bloggess”. I also claim that sexy things flow from my fingertips.

Somehow, I feel like I hardly live up to that epithet. What I’m writing doesn’t seem lusty at all. More an expression of need and passion.

Which might be lusty. I don’t know. I get confused by my own writing a lot.

I don’t know if I can actually do a proper sex scene. I’m trying to write one right now, and so far, it’s involving masses of spag bol. Not during the fucking, of course.

I did write a M/M scene yesterday, which had a much better flow to it. And I have no idea why!

I’m terribly insecure about my writing. It’s little pieces of me that I put out there. There is a lot of my own want and need in the stories.

Sometimes, I just need a kind word to assure me that I am doing good in writing what I write. I set my goals way too high, I think. I want perfection.

Why can’t I just write my arse off? Why can’t I flow freely across the page?

Write Your Arse Off.

Hmm… I’m getting there.

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  1. I’m terribly insecure about my writing. It’s little pieces of me that I put out there. There is a lot of my own want and need in the stories.

    ^^^That’s exactly what you should be doing. I had an email conversation tonight with a friend about putting reality into our books. Not necessarily things we did, but feelings we’ve experienced, little flashes of real life.

    Steal quirks from people you know, filch backstory (I said filch, not felch), play mix ‘n’ match with overheard conversations, foibles and characteristics.

    And if you empty yourself into what you write, it’s my belief readers will sense the honesty in that. They’ll say, “Yes! I know that feeling!” And you’ve made a connection with them.

    • Thank you, Scarlett. Your advice means a lot to me and I do look up to you 🙂

    • Yeah, what she said. Empty yourself into what you write. And don’t hold back for fear of what it makes you look like.

      There is nothing so erotic as naked, vulnerable honesty. Nothing.

  2. I always recommend that writers read a book called “Impro : Improvisation and the Theatre” by Keith Johnstone. It might seem weird to be reading a book aimed at teaching actors to improvise scenes on stage when you are seeking advice on taking the struggle out of writing, but it works. You mention perfectionism and that is one of the biggest blocks to creativity. Others which Johnstone highlights are self-censorship and “trying to be interesting”. He gives lots of advice on how to let go and be spontaneous. The thing about perfectionism is that it causes you to reject ideas or forms of expression which might lead to the very thing that will really work. If an idea doesn’t seem to really do it for you then it is just the stepping stone to the idea that does and so rejecting it will keep you from getting there.

    If you want to learn to write effortlessly it is all about cultivating a frame of mind in which the words and the ideas know that they will be welcomed and valued. The words and ideas are guests in your mind and on your page, and if you make your guests feel that they are not really the sort of guests you want to associate with, they’ll stop coming, but if you hand them all a drink as they arrive and pull them up a seat by the fire, you’ll find they come back and bring their friends.

    On perfectionism generally, here is what I have to say in my book “How to Be Free” :

    The Love of Perfection is the Root of All Evil

    Most of us accept that it would be unreasonable to expect ourselves to be perfect, but we still see perfection as an ideal, something to be pursued. And yet to pursue perfection, if such a thing even exists, makes about as much sense as pursuing death.

    If anything were ever perfect it would be sterile. It would be a dead end.

    Everything wonderful in the whole universe has grown out of imperfection. That is how the creative principle of the universe works.

    The universe is a system – a network of energy, some of which behaves in a particular kind of orderly way that we refer to as matter. This matter exists in a web of action and interaction with other matter and forms of energy. And some of that matter is alive and operating under its own internal direction as a subsystem of the whole. And the most complex form of that living matter is ourselves as we look out into the universe and try to understand it.

    But how did we come about? Through a serious of mutations, i.e. imperfections. Perfection is a steady-state. But the creative principle operates through variation. An animal, for instance, is born which is not quite right, a mutation of some kind. If that variation, that imperfection, proves beneficial then something new and wonderful comes into existence, a new branch on the tree of life. And all of those imperfections led to us.

    And yet we somehow became intolerant of our mistakes and imperfections instead of seeing them as an intrinsic part of the creative process of the universe.


  3. A quick kind reassuring word from Clive – if I could have written just 10% as well as you when I was a 20 year old virgin! I would have been very pleased with myself. I guess thoughts and words sometimes flow freely and other times congeal as glue. Not that I am a wrtier, of course, so what do I know!! I just enjoy reading your stuff


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