My Husband, The Exhibitionist

The first time he did it, I saw the humor. It was a nice birthday surprise, and certainly unwound me after a very tough day at work.

The second time, a year later, it was hot. We fucked on my desk, the window blinds rattling from the intensity of his rough pounding.

I didn’t expect that he’d do it a third time. Not after my department manager accidentally spotted his dick last time around.

That day, I was sitting behind my computer, typing a report on a file I had to hand in at the end of the day. The file had been dragging along for months, and I was happy that today was the day I could finally hand it in, with a smidge of pride, I must say.

Contented, I saved the file, and was just about to go for a coffee, when there was a swift knock on my door.

“Come in!” I called, surprising myself with the chirp in my voice.

From behind the door, John, my loving husband of four years appeared, with a bouquet of the most radient roses I had ever seen in his hands.

“Roses, for my lovely flower! Happy birthday, Daisy!”

“Ah, thank you, John!” I said, gladly accepting the flowers and putting them on my desk. I gave him a long, lingering kiss, and he smiled brightly afterwards.

“I’ve got another surprise for you, my dear.” he said, sounding like a very cheeky boy. That’s when I noticed it. He was wearing The Coat.

The Coat, a warning sign if there ever was one. I knew that he was naked under there, and that he was intent on flashing me.

“John, not now, I’ve got this report to finish.” I pouted playfully, hoping he’d see the humor.

“Ah, but darling, I’ve got something to show you!” he said, pulling back towards the middle of the room.

“John…” I said sternly. Underneath it all, he was a big kid, and the stern voice did work with him, although it seemed ridiculous.

But not today, unfortunately. He slowly unbuttoned his flasher-coat, gyrating his hips and humming “The Stripper”.

“John Devon, I swear, if you do not stop now…”

“Oh, come on, Daisy! It’s just a bit of fun for your birthday!” he said, laughing like an idiot. “Here I go!”

The last button undone, he opened his coat. I pinched my eyes shut, willing for this not to be happening. I thought various things, including how the fuck he managed to get on the tube wearing only a coat, boots and a smile. I thought about how he managed to get past security downstairs.

“Dais! Look! It’s dancing for you!”

I opened my eyes and to my utter, utter horror, my husband was swirling around his penis in the middle of my office.

And of course, that’s when my department manager Natalie walked in. And of course, John felt the need to swirl his fucking cock in her direction.


I stormed across Leicester Square, towards the Circus, with John in tow.

“Dais, wait up!”

“John, you utter clot!” I cried out, still storming.

He finally caught up with me at the statue of Eros, where I plonked down on the stairs.

“Dais.” he murmered, caressing my face. I slapped him on the hand.

“Come on, Daisy, it was just a bit of fun!”

“John, I warned you! The next time you flash your willy to my department manager, I’ll personally castrate you!”

I stood up and stormed off into the distance, leaving John to run behind me.

We did make up in the end.

And yeah, the sex was quite smashing.

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  1. This was hillarious LOL … I wonder if I’d have the balls to do that …. LOL

  2. Funny and sexy makes for a great combination! You nicely breathe life into two background characters, and make them very real.


  3. *laughs delightedly* I am so glad we got the background on that line! I was wondering how John came to flash the department manager 🙂

    xx Dee

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