Talk To Me

I know as I sit here, writing this post, that I’m going to have difficulties doing so. I’m not an expert at this.

I wanted to do a post on dirty talking, as the idea came to me in the early hours of this morning. But as I think about it, I have to reconsider being all… well, myself about it. Because, although some people might beg to differ, I can’t really bring myself to do proper dirty talking. In my stories, it’s fine. On Twitter, I’m a pro.

But in real life…

As I have mentioned before, a long time ago, I’m not the most natural of flirter in the flesh. My first kiss will tell you that I’m actually quite shy. Another person might beg to differ, but the truth is that MFK was absolutely right.

In real life, I can’t dirty talk for crap. I have this tendency to rehearse what I want to say in my head, sometimes months before I need to actually say it. In my head, I can talk smut with the best of them. On paper, in writing, I can too.

But when vocalizing how much (for example) I want to see a guy come for me, I really, really feel very uncomfortable. I become all… floopy and weird, and end up actually saying “I can’t believe I just said that.”

The first time someone asked me if what he was doing was making me wet, I think I internally died a little. I had never been asked that before in my life, and being asked just that, and actually admitting it was something weird.

I’m slightly more used to it now. I know who I can confide my longings to. I know who I can talk openly to.

Still, it doesn’t mean that “I want your thick, hard cock.” rolls from my lips as easy as “Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.”

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