Sexy Back

There is a famous song, by a famous group here in Belgium that goes on about mountains and ravines. I don’t really know the rest of the lyrics, but I assume it’s about conquering both ups and downs.

Visiting dad gets easier every time. He seems… chirpy, almost. Gives me a lot of hugs, tells me he loves me. Still, the concept of Alzheimers never gets any easier to grasp, and looks can be very deceiving.

I feel at my most fragile at this moment. I don’t even feel remotely like a woman, or like a person for that matter.

I know that I can’t always be a budding slut, or a wordy wordsmith for that matter. But I’m working hard to reclaim both. I need to feel like me again, whoever that is.

And I hope to fuck that today marks a change.

I went to buy new clothes, since my old ones tend to be a bit loose. I ended up in a lingerie store, buying stockings and a garter belt. And then I ended up at another lingerie store, putting a corset on hold and discovering to my horror that my tits, in fact, have shrunk.

These new clothes will provide a lovely get-up for when I next take over London come February. I hope to fuck that they fit and that they look a bit nice.

Getting my sexy back, or just getting my sexy in gear has been such a long process, and I feel this is a highlight. Having the saleswoman try on the corset was just something I had dreamed about for ages. Molly told me I would look so sexy in a corset, and I’m inclined to believe her. Just as long as I can breathe in it! The feeling of trying it on reminded me of a quote from Pirates of the Carribean. “And women in London are not supposed to breathe?”

But something was shifting inside me, trying on lacy and frizzy things. I felt like a sexpot for the first time in my life. Barring my hair, which will be taken care of on Tuesday, I just looked sexy, and my fucking god, that just feels awesome. I had on a sort of babydoll, and the saleswoman said it was too tight, but I couldn’t care less because it looked fucking awesome.

Feeling sexy is something amazing. Doesn’t matter what you look like, where your wobbly bits are or ought. Sexy is a state of mind.

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  1. Sexy is most certainly a state of mind! Good for you. I’m sure you looked as good as you felt.

  2. Sexy is a state of mind, and a state of you. And you are sexy. *hugs*

    And so is London Andrews, the person gracing your post in photographic style. HOT!)

    xx Dee

  3. We’ve already discussed my hang ups about my body… There are definitely times where I feel like the sexy is oozing from my pores, and it’s those times I feel the absolute best about myself. I agree 110% – sexy IS a state of mind!


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