The Disconnect

BNL Note: Sorry for the possible scatterbrained nature of this post. I can’t seem to get my thoughts on this together. Still, I hope you enjoy your reading.

 

Everyone has their sins. Every writer regrets and fears. Or at least, I think so. I don’t consider myself a writer yet. I don’t know when I’ll fully be able to consider myself a writer, because I just can’t accept I’m any good.

I’ve been overanalyzing this to the nth degree, both on this blog and in my mind, and the truth is that I just can’t figure out why I can’t. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a fucking cunt for not believing it. I know there’s something there. A little spark, a lit match that just needs a candle to burn on.

I have so many projects that I left unfinished. Things I lost faith in, things that I can’t seem to finish due to the situation at home.

All excuses, really.

I hope that I can find the strength to start again. The new year is around the corner. What better time to start again? What better time to take care of the disconnect?

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2 Comments

  1. Vincent is actually a really amazing photographer but he refuses to believe it. I hope that one day both you and he find the egos you deserve to have for your skills.

    The new year is a great time for new beginnings. You will persevere despite the situation at home, I promise you.

    Reply
  2. I have the EXACT issue. It’s like enough people can’t tell me that I have something. That I’m good. I feel like I know I HAVE it, but I’m not USING it. Even when I write, I’m like MOTHER EFF. This could be 10 times better. And I think of all the reasons I didn’t make it better, or I can’t make it better. No time. No good place to do it. No faith in myself. GAAAH!
    I decided that I’m just gonna do it. I’m just gonna write. It’s a passion of mine, and I can’t give it up. Even if I suck. Even if no one ever sees it. I’d have done it. It would be there. To do whatever I will with. I’m going to send things off to contests and agents and whatever else I feel like. Whatever happens happens. I use words. I write. That HAS to make me a writer. I’ve decided that I’m a writer. All I have to do now is decide that I’m good (enough).
    That’s my way. You’ll find yours. I’m rooting for you.

    Reply

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