Talk Dirty To Me


Letter of the alphabet, used in many words. The letter such people as Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey are known by. The shape my mouth makes when I pout.

All reasonable. But tell me, dear readers, do you use it when referring to an orgasm? Do you call it “the big O”?

The first time I heard it referred to as “The Big O” was on an episode of Oprah, when Bachelorette Trista Rehn was asked by an audience member if the rumor that she never had “The Big O” was true.

I have no idea where this came from. And shockingly enough, there’s more of it! I see the clitoris referred to as the “C” spot, which is just plain stupid. Are we so embarrassed of such a wonderful thing as a clitoris that we daren’t properly say the word?

If I were to tell you that last night, I took my V, rubbed it all over my C spot and then proceded to insert it in my V spot, would you even realize that I was talking about wanking and not about my new Ikea cabinets?

I am upset by this, just because I thought we were a more open society than a few years ago. We shouldn’t be afraid to wax lyrically about our orgasms and call it an orgasm whilst we’re at it.

Orgasms are nature’s way of saying “Sorry you had a rubbish day. Here, you can haz cheeseburgers now. And a complimentary fluffy kitten.”

Why shouldn’t we be proud of being able to achieve something so amazing? Why should we keep this word mum? Or any other word for that matter?

It is my belief that we should kick off the new year in style and start opening up about our sexual desires. Doesn’t matter what Cosmopolitan or Nuts tells you to do, just, do me a favor and be nice and open with your partners.

“Orgasm” is not a dirty word. “Clitoris” or “clit” is not a dirty word.

Talk dirty, my dear readers. This holiday, express your innermost desires. Fuck Cosmo. And fuck safe, wise and with consent.


Thanks to Holly from The Pervocracy for her brilliant Cosmocking feature, which inspired this post and will certainly inspire many more to come.

Leave a comment


  1. You had me at cheeseburger. Seriously though, unless it is to playfully have nicknames for things (we call masturbation “brushing” and a vibrator a “toothbrush”), people should just use the real words. I mean, they are just body parts. Nothing worse than parents teaching their kids to call their body parts hoo-hoos and cha-chas. And really, if you think it is bad over in Europe where you are, you should see how things are here in the US of A. We are WAY more uptight about sexuality and Europeans get away with a lot more stuff in print, television, etc, that would NEVER fly here. Unfortunately, sex and sexuality is still one of those taboo subjects no matter how healthy the topic at hand may be.

  2. I so agree Jilly…. I hate it when I hear people say, ‘down there’ and don’t get me started on the Mothers I hear telling their girls to wipe their ‘front bottom’. FRONT BOTTOM!!!????? What the fuck are they thinking…. it is not your arse, it is never going to be your arse and trust me the fist time you sleep with a bloke you are going to want to be very clear about which one of your ‘bottoms’ he is going to stick it in!

    I love words Jilly, just like you do, give me cock and cunt, tits and lips, arse and anal… yes, talk dirty to me in 2012.


    • One of the pedagogues I had once asked me if I had washed my “mouse” yet… I just wish I’d had the balls to turn to her and say “what, my vagina”? (I was about 11 when this happened, btw)

      Here’s to dirty talking away the new year!

  3. Yes yes and also yes.


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