Not Real

I wish I could tell you I had an eventful day. That my experiences of the past few hours were cleansing, reviving and positive. Unfortunately, I spent most of the day immobile and sleeping.

After many, many delays, the physical therapist came in to work on my neck. She gave me one of those heat-cushions. I don’t know the proper name. At first, it was an almost pleasurable feeling. The heat was doing wonders for my neck. But suddenly, the pain became too much. I had to give her back the cushion, because my neck felt like it was about to spontaneously dislocate.

And it wasn’t about to stop there. Oh no, the actual massage was still to come.

Now, I was anticipating some kind of pain. The tense muscles in my neck had been acheing for a month now, and it was progressively getting worse.

But when she started rubbing my neck…

It was almost not real. This was physical pain on a whole different level.

In fact….

I felt myself slipping into a whole different space. Nothing was there, other than fingers, a bottle of Chemoterm and so much pain I couldn’t even talk. It was quite a mindblowing experience.

One that had me doubling over on the couch soon after. I had to sleep it off, but even sleeping was a trying task.

I’m not good with pain.

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