Deeper Than Sex

Last night, I started wondering. When I wonder, one of two things can happen. One, I can come to an interesting and wonderful conclusion. Two, I can come to a conclusion that completely throws me off track and makes me very depressed.

I wondered what it would be like if I stopped flirting. I like flirting, you know. Those of you following my Twitterfeed may have even been flirted with. So when I started wondering what would happen if I… well, stopped, protests came up. It was interesting to see.

Between Twitter, Bloke and Poet, I’ve not been short of flirtatious conversations. It’s all good and well… till someone hints that sex will be on the menu.

I’m scared shitless of sex. I’ve mentioned this before, but I can’t help quietly laughing to myself. What am I? A virgin sex-blogger who’s scared of bumping genitals? I write about it every day, tell stories about people having sex. But why can’t I bring myself to look forward to the prospect of it?

Why can’t I make sex less scary for myself?

Then, I had a thought.

Why don’t I just wait for someone I feel comfortable with? I realize this might come off as a huge insult to Bloke and Poet, but it wouldn’t feel right. Not yet anyway.

So, that was my conclusion. And it was an eye-opener. Waiting might be the hardest part, but it can pay off in the end, I think. Or at least I hope.

I’ll wait. Wait till I find the one person that I can laugh and drink and cry and fuck with.

And it will be worth it.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I’m taking a short break from this blog, as a way to recharge my batteries. Don’t worry, I’ll not skive off and close this blog down. I just need to not be here for a bit. Might be a day, might be a week.

I love you all, and I want to thank you for supporting me through thick and thin.

Love, snogs and tacklehugs.

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1 Comment

  1. Melissa

     /  January 15, 2012

    Does not have to be just one person, but can indeed be very wonderful when it happens. Have found for myself, some people are sort-of safe for playing with in some ways, but not others. Thus far, only one person who I am with and just feel utterly, utterly safe and knowing I am safe and that it is okay. Am very glad I waited.


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