Turn The Page: On Teenage Crushes

I’ve had enough.

His face makes me angry and I want to grab him by the balls and twist them around.

No, I’m not talking about a boyfriend. As far as I know, I’m still single. I’m talking about Jason Statham.

He’s a perfectly decent bloke, but I just can’t stand his face on my wall anymore. The crush is officially over and done with.

I don’t even know how this change came about. I just know that one day, I woke up not wanting to be greeted by his face. It was like I had stopped being a teenager. Realizing that you’re not in that dream space anymore is hard.

I’ve talked about my crushes on this blog before. In fact, whilst pillaging for material for the book I’m trying to write, I came to the startling conclusion that 95 % of the first months of my blog were made up of pictures of Jason Statham. Which is shocking.

But not at all abnormal.

When you’re a teenager with a crush on a celeb, you become a collector. Every single snippet of your desired one’s life has to be in your hands. Magazine clippings, appearances on shows, ticket stubs for movies or concerts, you must have it all.

I frequent Twitter, and I see this all the fucking time. Young girls fawning over The Bieber and One Direction, proclaiming that they are not only popstars, but reincarnations of an ancient  deity.

I don’t think these girls and boys are sad people. On the contrary. I sympathize with them, because I know that the day that this extreme love stops is still waiting to rear its ugly head. They claim it won’t but it will.

Sooner than they think, their first big real life crush will come along. And it will blow them out of the safe haven that they know and love.

My first proper real life crush broke my heart in so many ways. He was a pedagogue in boarding school, and when he left, I tried to kiss him. He turned the other cheek, and it hurt.

Of course, the real hurt comes when you fall in love for the first time and get rejected. I know it did for me. And I wouldn’t wish that hurt on anyone. I still remember sinking to the bathroom floor, crying because he had another girl.

And at last, years after you first set eyes on that gorgeous pop star, or the neighbor’s kid… you wake up. It came late for me. But it happened.

Weird thing is that I don’t feel bad about it. Just a chapter of my life that needs closing. Great things will happen. You will get that kiss and you be loved back by someone.

You just need to find the strength to turn the page.

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3 Comments

  1. Ooh… wow. This is hard to comment on actually; so personal. But I do understand where you’re coming from. Was just different for me.

    I’m curious though – does it really take courage to “turn the page”?

    Reply
    • I think (but that’s just me) that turning the page on your teenage years really does require courage. You face adulthood, and responsibilities, and that can be scary. So, if you’re courageous enough to face that… yeah, you can turn the page, I think. But again, that’s just me.

      Thanks for commenting xx

      Reply
  2. I think I was always a bit of a ‘tiny adult.’ Whenever I had a celeb crush in my teens, I’d tell my mom, “No worries, it will be over in a few months.” and I was right. I still have tiny ones from time to time (Twitter probably has records of me gushing over Thomas Combezou and Imran Khan) but I enjoy them; I get short bursts of being an energetic teenager again and it’s nice.

    It’s probably not healthy, but to a certain degree I think celebrity crushes are a good way to distract myself from the rejection of a real crush.

    Reply

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