How To Turn Me On (And Off)

I’m often inspired by my peers to write about stuff. Today, for instance, I found this article by Rachel Kramer Bussel (editor and writer of many a story in my bookcase) on how to turn her on. Thinking about this, I’ve discovered that I do have some turn-ons that don’t involve just having a six-pack (fear me, for I am that shallow).

For example, I’ve already outed myself as a massive sapiosexual. I can’t even begin to describe what just a smidge of intelligence does to me. Even if you’re just one for blurting out random fact about stuff, I dig that. It’s something my brain (which is my biggest sexual organ, I think) duly appreciates. I like the intellectual stimulation of a good conversation.

I also like geeks. Ooh, I love them to bits. Mainly because I am one. And just geeking out about stuff can be a pretty massive turn-on for me too.

I like quirky, dorky things in people. Just things they do. Like random dancing or a shared love of a book or a shared piece of knowledge that you thought to be obscure (for example, I once bonded with a guy who also knew that Dr Greene from ER was also in Top Gun. We high-fived on that, because we’re boss.)

Being happy about silly stuff is also a lovely plus. For example, I’ve got a friend who dorks out over DVD comment tracks (I’m looking at you, Lady Pandorah), which is so sexy.

I agree with Rachel when she says that baring a part of yourself (in the soul sense, not in the get naked sense) is very alluring. Seeing someone’s vulnerable side can make you melt on the spot.

I’ve also discovered that I’m very big on physical contact. I bet you’re thinking “who the fuck isn’t?” but I really do appreciate it from people I’m comfortable with. MFK’s first move on me was biting my ear. Which I never thought I’d like, but lo and behold, I was ladytoast. If I’m comfortable with you, I’ll most certainly appreciate a touch, a taste, a kiss.

Kissing’s a wonderful thing too. In fact, I fully intend on dedicating an entire post to it soon enough. Wonderful, passionate kisses make me swoon and tremble.

It takes me a while to feel comfortable around people, as you may have gathered. I spent most of the first Erotic Meet sitting and staring ahead of me. Attraction takes a while to set in and it can often leave me a bit confused. It makes me do weird things, say stuff I don’t want to say. But eventually, that settles. And when I can behave like a normal human being around you, I’ll be able to cope with my attraction.

I feel like I’m faffling on a bit. But I guess Rachel says it best in her piece.

 There are an infinite number of ways to turn me on. It could be a kiss, a smile, a spanking. It could be a comment, or a piece of clothing, or a sensation. It could be submission, or dominance, or chocolate. Whatever it is, I want it to make me feel special, unique, wanted. I want it to wash out all the other claims on my attention, my heart, my desire. I want it to make me feel like this could be my last moment on earth, and I’d be okay with that. Even if that lasts just for a second, if it’s the right second, it’s worth it.

There is so much that can turn me on. Words, noises, breaths. Kisses, smells, intelligence. Wit, humor, cadence of voice… if it makes me feel good, it’ll turn me on.

There is, however, one thing that never fails to put me off.

How is it that most men who talk to me immediately offer to take my virginity? I know I might have said so on this blog, but have I ever said to you that my virginity is some sort of burden that I want to get rid of? Do you not fancy just chatting with me and getting to know me?

Maybe it’s just me, but that’s a real turn-off.

There’s loads of things I may have forgotten to mention. So, here’s a handy bullet point list, so you can skip through all my nonsense and read the good stuff.

Turn-ons include:

  • Sexy voices
  • Wit and humor
  • Intelligence
  • Kind eyes
  • Geekery (which is probably my number one.)
  • Musicians
  • Film buffs
  • Foodies
  • and so on…

Turn -offs include:

  • A particularly keen interest in as to why I’m a virgin
  • Ignorance (although I might be guilty of that myself from time to time)
  • Being unnecessarily to people
  • People who are intent on pushing their belief-system on me
  • People who can’t agree with a more liberal lifestyle
  • and so on…

So, dear reader… what turns you on? Is there a certain thing someone needs to do to get your motor going? I’d love to know (not at all for personal perving purposes, oh no sir, no). Leave a comment below, if you will.

Leave a comment


  1. Vigorously taking notes on how to turn Jilly on…

  2. skinandlace

     /  February 17, 2012

    I’m with you, there are multiple things that can turn me on, in a variety of situations. However, one thing that always gets me, is when the boyfriend pulls my head back by gently pulling my hear and then gives me a deep kiss… If he does that, he has me.

  3. skinandlace

     /  February 17, 2012

    ‘hear’ being ‘hair’. Gosh, apparently even thinking about it takes away my ability to spell


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