Sing To Me… In The Club Style!

So, I’ve had a bit of a shit week. If you’ve been following my recent London adventures, you might know that it really did not end well.

To cut a very long story short, I woke up on Sunday to find my bag missing. Spent an entire day looking for it, growing more desperate and eventually ending up wandering through Foyles St. Pancras like a big, bespectacled ghost. Eventually, I managed to secure a ticket back to Belgium for the next day.

Now, I realize that I have not told you about the next day yet.

After taking a bus to Victoria (and I realize that this might not make me popular, but I quite like taking the bus in London), I walked to the Belgian embassy. After a while, and the helpful advice from one lovely Canadian tourist, I came to the conclusion that I was nowhere near it. Took a quick taxi, realized that I was nearer than I thought. Fuck.

Anyway. Upon arriving, I was quickly sent back down the street, to a chemist, to have my picture taken for my ETD (Emergency Travel Document). Now, these particular pictures… did not come out smashing. Let’s keep it at that.

I hurried back, got my document sorted and took a bus back to the hostel.

That evening, I waited at St. Pancras for the guy who I’d be travelling with. He arrived, we shook hands and made our way to the check-in. Where I made the catastrophic mistake of asking an attendee if it was alright to travel with someone else’s ticket.

Turns out, no.

As chaos momentarily descended on the Boyd, the Eurostar team made a monumental effort to get me on the train. And I did get on the train. And I got home.

I’ve been kinda feeling shit since.

That feeling I wrote about a few weeks ago is still there. I still don’t have a name for it. It can’t be ennui, because I’m not bored. I’m just… frustrated. I…. angry, I think. And I don’t really know why.

I know I can do everything I put my head and heart to. And I want to. I want so bad. But I really… I’m stuck. There is something I need and I can’t really find it. There’s this unrest in me that needs to be settled. Is that just something that comes with your twenties? I don’t know.

There’s this need to go back to education. Catch as many courses as I can and learn more. There’s a need to do something, just anything, and it’s gone from tickle to terror.

I’m looking for jobs, but I don’t know if I can move soon. I want to come back to London, but I have no money. I want to start a course, but I can’t get over on time.

Ugh. I just don’t know what to do. Write more, of course. Look for jobs, take the opportunities that come my way. Learn, read, adapt.

That’s all well and good. But as I said, there’s something I need that I can’t put my finger on.

Maybe I do need someone to sing to me in the club style. Which would be a very weird metaphor for “I really want a cuddle and a kiss.”


Next Post
Leave a comment


  1. Rory

     /  March 17, 2012

    I definitely think it’s a typical 20-something thing. I know I’ve felt this way on and off from the age of 21. Almost like… I don’t know exactly. Like I thought that by now I should know everything – who I am, what I want, what job I want to do for the rest of my life… But I didn’t, and it felt like a piece of information that I needed to get the show on the road was missing. It takes some time to find it, I guess =)


  2. I agree with Rory, this must be a 20-something thing. I hope that day by day things get clearer for you and you know what direction you want to go in. And find things that make you happy every day. If I could, I would have sang to you, club style 🙂


Whisper to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: