Queerly Beloved

So, I did it.

Nothing special, nothing life-affirming or earth-shattering. I just made a tiny investment that has, so far, greatly improved my late-night DVD viewing habits. Because, once in a while, a woman needs a bit of… enhanced viewing.

Alright, I admit that I was a *bit* stupid in doing it. After all, it cost me about 55 quid. But I just couldn’t get my hands off it. It was loud and proud and oh so fucking sexy, and it was right there, in HMV.

Yes, I finally managed to get Queer As Folk: The Complete Series on DVD.

And I really, really haven’t regretted it. It wasn’t exactly an impulse buy. I distinctly remember having to call my mum back home to get her permission, if only to soothe my mind (and increasingly thinning wallet). But it was worth it.

I vaguely remember that QAF was broadcast late at night, a few years ago. I also remember seeing it, and thinking it was the hottest thing I’d seen in my life. Pleased to report, it still is. It might be slightly dated (early 00’s), but it’s still one of the best things I’ve ever bought on DVD.

Why? It’s because it’s sex. It’s love and sex and men and women and men again. And I like sex. I like men.

Excuse me for being excited. Excuse me for already having decided that I ship Michael/Brian (Kivotny?) and that I think Emmett should be my friend. I just really can’t help myself.

There is a point to this. Oh-ho, there is always a point to my words. Except when there’s not and I’m just rambling.

About five minutes into the first episode, I realized that I had a huge ladyboner for über-manslut Brian Kinney. I couldn’t really put my finger on what made me so hot for him. Or what made me so insanely jealous of him. Sure, he has the bod and the face, but there’s something about him that makes me turn multiple shades of envy. If you’ve seen the show, you’ll know what I’m talking about. He’s got this… Fuck, it’s like he just has to glance in someone’s general direction and he gets laid. He has a magnetism that any guy (or girl) could only dream about having.

So, why am I so jealous?

Surely, I could never be a Brian. I could never put it out there as much as he does. I could never walk around, using my bits as a divining rod. Ah, I see it now, the strangely curved walk I’d be doing, letting my cunt guide the way to the next fresh fuck.

Truth is that I started doubting myself.

I started overthinking everything. Suddenly, it wasn’t just about the famous Kinney-magnetism anymore. It was about my own sexual magnetism and my habits in the bedroom. I started thinking about what people believe a 21-year-old should be doing. Let’s see… uni, going out, drinking, fucking, general trouser-related merriment. Yeah, that’s not me.

When I first cammed with him and Jill, Jack asked me why I was still a virgin. I said to him that I didn’t know, but the truth is that I kinda do. I don’t go out much and I’m not really interested in the nightlife and fucking about. At the age where most kids were sexually blossoming, I actually managed to go backwards. I wasn’t “hot”, “pretty” and “worthy of being their girlfriend”. And truth be told, I’m fucking glad I wasn’t.

Now that I’m a bit older and have gained (albeit only a miniscule bit of) perspective on those years, I wonder if I’m not missing out. I wonder if sitting home on a Saturday, reading Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test (which, by all means, I’d definitely recommend to you) is not making me completely blind for all the fun I could be having.

Then again, there isn’t a lot of fun to be had in my little town. The nearest cinema takes an hour on the bus to get there, and the clubbing scene is non-exsistant. It’s one of the reasons I’d rather be in London. But the question remains if I’ll be actually going to the cinema or to a bar or a club once I’m there. I’d like to. I’m still nervous though.

But although I might not have the magical Kinney-magnetism, I’m pretty sure that there is something there which makes people want to talk to me. There is a Boyd-magnetism. It just hides a bit more.

 

A random Noel to make your day brighter.

 

 

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5 Comments

  1. Rory

     /  March 21, 2012

    First, I was totally and completely addicted to QAF! Although I think you´re watching the American one, and I was watching the UK version (Charlie Hunnam *needs* to call me!). Be sure to check that one out when you run out of episodes 😉

    The rest of the post makes me want to take you out to a bar and show you how easy that whole scene is. Nothing to be nervous about! I’m not sure if you’re missing out, to be perfectly honest, but it sure can be a huge ego-boost. And there’s nothing like ego-boosts to bring someone’s Kinney-magnetism a bit more to the surface =P

    Reply
    • Oooh! Oooh! The UK one was the one I saw first! Have you seen Charlie Hunnam lately? PHWOAAAR…

      Thanks, dear. I’m sure a couple of ego-boosts will do that to you! I’m no Brian Kinney though =P

      Reply
      • Rory

         /  March 21, 2012

        Well, the world can only handle so much Brian Kinneys =P And YES I have seen him lately! Sons of Anarchy is my porn, ha XD

  2. Jade Whisk

     /  March 23, 2012

    Hey, I’d love to show you around a couple of bars and clubs too . . . if there were anything worth doing near me these days! (Ah, how I miss a social life!)
    I think the secret is to do what you love doing. If you love dancing, go dance: if you love music, stand and listen; if you love sitting and reading Jon Ronson. . . well, I guess you could sit in the corner and wait for someone to come ask you about your book! I guarantee you will meet people.

    Reply
    • I’ll keep that in mind! And beware, for I might take you up on your offer to show me the barscene 😀
      x

      Reply

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