Ella, Shake Your Bootie

Alright, I should have posted this on Tuesday, whilst it was still fresh in my head. I know, I shouldn’t have kept this from you. I am a bad webmistress. But to be honest, I really really couldn’t be bothered after this. It wasn’t what I had expected. And you’re about to find out why.

Right, it’s not me losing my virginity. Come on, do you really think I would have kept THAT from you? However, it is a losing of a virginity of a sort of similar level. One more concentrated on my rear end than you’d think.

For I, Jilly Boyd, have received in the mail a shiny, purple Fun Factory Bootie. Which is a buttplug, in case you didn’t know. It goes in your arse and that.

It started Monday morning, when I awoke to find an actual thing in the post for me. A sizable, brown box, as it was. I knew instantly what it was. A few days ago, I had cashed in my Eroticon voucher on Lovehoney. I couldn’t help grinning. For in that box was, besides a Lelo Ella, a Fun Factory Bootie. My first buttplug. (Coincidentally, the Ella is my first dildo. And a fucking fancy one it is too…)

All day, I contemplated my options. Do I take it upstairs with me and try it out? Do I indulge in a leisurely wank, using both Ella and Bootie? Or do I take advantage of free time and sleep? I mean, my body needed the rest. I was about to get my period and then more than ever, my body needs rest.

Of course I wanked. Who do you think I am?

I grabbed towels from the bathroom (two, if I remember correctly) and got semi-naked, and a whole load of excited. I’d read several reviews of Ella, including Epiphora‘s epic one, and needless to say, I had certain expectations. Big ones, as you may have gathered.

Regular readers of this blog might know that I am a woman obsessed when it comes to the G-Spot. And I don’t mean regular obsession. I mean full-blown levels of Are You Dave Gorman?-like obsession (seriously, READ EET!). I’ve been looking for something suitable for my G-Spot for a very long time now.

There were a few candidates. Rock Chick, which I hated. The Slim Jim, which has conked it. Pink Thing, which… yeah, it helped. But Ella needed to be the big one. THE BIG ONE.

So, with sufficient towelage under me, and a shitload of lube, I started. First, I brought Grey into play, figuring that I best be a bit wetter than I was. Unfortunately, the temptation to stick Ella in my vag was a bit too big. So, lubed up sufficiently, Ella was stuck up my vag.

I remembered that Epiphora said something about thrusting quite vigorously, so that’s what I did. I did feel something almost immediately. That sensation of having to have a massive piss was there. I knew I had to *ehem* plough through,  because apparently, it’s worth it.

Unfortunately, I stopped. Seemingly too curious about what Bootie had in store for me (I had first decided not to use it), I took it out of the plastic. Bootie fascinated me to no end. First of all, it’s purple. I love purple. I want to have its babies, I love it so much. Second, it’s bendy. I love bendy stuff. Third, it goes up the ass. It doesn’t look like that. It looks like…. I don’t know. Judge for yourselves. I’ve included an image at the bottom of the post. I lubed it up. I have to confess that it took me a bit of time to actually find my asshole. It had been a while since I’d experimented with anal play. After a few attempts, I inserted it successfully.

At first, it was just pleasant. Nothing too exciting, just a nice, full feeling. Then, I became a bit too aware of something being up my arse. I tried to focus on the sensations of Ella, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Bootie was lodged up there. I kept feeling if it was indeed there. Finally, I had to take it out. It was doing nothing for me.

I continued with Ella, but eventually, I had to bring Grey back into play. I’m sure I squirted at some point, but I didn’t really notice it. It was ok. I don’t know. Maybe I hadn’t sufficiently prepared myself for any more anal play. Is it a thing that comes with experience? Do I need to do it more?

Anyway, it was all forgotten later in the week, when I had an epic orgasm. In fact, I had such an epic orgasm, I was in floods of tears after. That’s right, I cried. And because it was so intimate, so completely soul-shaking, I’ve decided not to share that one with you. It’s too personal. Just know that it was great, it was all fingers (because sometimes that’s just so much better) and it made me feel utterly wobbly afterwards.

Now, here’s Bootie.

Bootie. It looks like a weird sort of bendy straw.

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Leave a comment


  1. Intriguing. Sexy to read about your insertion of the purple bendy bootie.

    Congrats on the awesome-too-personal-to-post-about orgasm. I love my fingers, they are the best means of orgasm for me.

    Have an awesome week.


  2. kazigrrl

     /  April 14, 2012

    I do love my Bootie… it’s the easiest of my plugs to insert and I can wear it for hours. Sorry to hear it didn’t do much for you, I would say keep at it maybe not for direct play but as anticipation for play perhaps…

    ~Kazi xxx

    • Hmm…. that’s a good idea. Well, it was just the first time I used it. Maybe I just need to get used to it.



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