The Amazing Shrinking Woman

Yesterday, I came to a very shocking conclusion. Well, it shouldn’t be so shocking, really, what with it now being some time since my gastric bypass. I’ve lost weight, I know. But… I’ve lost weight in places that… that I frankly had no idea I could lose weight on.

First, there was the Trilby that suddenly, as if by magic, fit perfectly on my noggin. Needless to say, I was quite pleased until I inspected it after coming back from London. It’s more than slightly dented… Also, I realized that there are only so many occasions I can wear it.

I’ve never been good at this fashion thing. When Gaga rose up to the masses and said “Walk, Walk, Fashion Baby”, I replied, “No thanks, love, I’d rather have a sit down, if you’re okay with it.”

I’m that rubbish at it.

Of course, trying to shop for clothes is already a difficult task when you would rather wear your pyjamas to drinks with friends. But just imagine trying to shop for clothes when you are me, twelve months ago. Imagine being 20, morbidly obese (yes, 140 kilos, what of it?) and on the look-out for clothes that won’t make you look like a Shibari-bound Gyoza dumpling. Imagine standing outside New Look, or that cute vintage clothes shop down the road, and just… drooling over the window. Yes, this is a thing that happened. Multiple times.

Ugh, I don’t know. I just really never liked shopping for clothes. It was that horrific.

So, that’s why I was quite shocked last week when I found two beautiful, vintage-y looking dresses that actually fit me. A generous few sizes lower than my starting size 32.

And I quite liked that. I quite liked doing a bit of strutting around the fitting room. Because for the first time, I didn’t feel like a haggard lady-tramp. I felt almost… womanly? I don’t know. Never judge a woman by her clothes, but it did feel quite wonderful.

The shocking conclusion I mentioned in my opening gambit did indeed come yesterday.

I’ve been looking for a nice pair of shoes for some time now. And yesterday, at the new shoe store, my eyes fell on these gorgeous red shoes with a heel. The thought that I couldn’t wear them (because heels and me are not close mates) killed me a bit.

Until I asked the shop assistant to take my shoe size.

You guys….


Seriously, I shit you not. I’m a EU size 39 now. Holy shit, I had no idea that would happen. And the best thing about it is that I am now the proud owner of my first pair of heels!

Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be this excited about it. I don’t want to become a fashion geek or something. But there is a certain satisfaction. A triumph over the unhappy obese girl inside me, that I can now fit into something FIVE sizes smaller. And, d’you know what? I can make it WERK.

The worrying thing is though, that I might keep shrinking. I don’t know when I’ll reach a healthy weight, or what state my body will be in by then. I’ve already been embarrassed today by the fact that my massage therapist was, at one point, rubbing my bingo wings instead of my arms. The excess skin and the smaller breasts scare me.

I’ve done the drastic thing and called the gym, to see if I can rejoin. And now I’m remembering that I hate the gym.

Still, it has to be done.

Ze shoes...

Leave a comment


  1. So happy for you! Love the shoes!

  2. Thanks! x

  3. I’m a firm believe that if you hate the gym it’s because you haven’t found something you like. Exercise gets very addictive once you find something you enjoy. 😉 And congrats. I like the shoes.

    • Believe me, just the gym alone is dead boring. I’d love to take up dancing again, actually.

      Thanks! I like them too!

  4. Oh, dance! Dance whenever you can!
    I’m thrilled your efforts are giving you the results you were after. You remember me, right? Quite large myself? Well, I haven’t been able to wear “nice” clothes until quite recently, and I agree, fashionista or not, that it’s an amazing feeling when you first realise that this is something you can now participate in.
    Keep going, just as long as it keeps making you happy!
    (PS – smaller breasts are not necessarily a bad thing, you know.)

    • I will dance 🙂

      Yeah, I remember you. How could I forget you! And it is an amazing feeling. It does make me happy.

      (PS- Not when they look like like they’ve been sucked inwards….)


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