Medicated Musings

So, I’ve done some musing whilst under heavy medication. Unfortunately, my plan of coming up with the next Xanadu went awry, as eventually the meds wore off and the Golden Palace disappeared. Shame. Would have been nice.

There are some things that are still lucid in my head, so, I’d like to share them with you.

I’ve learned that it’s completely okay to not give a flying tosspuppet about the world around you. Okay, I love being social, I love all my friends to death and I really fucking love just going outside. But sometimes, vegging with a book, wrapped in a blanket…. yeah, that’s good stuff. Not thinking? Switching the brainbox off? Brilliant. Do it. DO EET. It allows you to take distance from things going on in your life and see them in a new light.

Being alone from time to time is really quite wonderful. No matter how much you love your friends (and believe me, I love them A LOT), sometimes you just need to switch off Twitter. Yes, I said it. Switch off Twitter. Go outside, catch rays and that. If it’s raining, go stand in the rain and do a dance.

Something else I realized is that, although I’m such a fan of snogging and touching and caressing, I don’t really think I need sex right now. Which is a strange thing, considering I’ve spent more than 700 blog posts preaching to the Choir 69.

I don’t know. Wait. I do. I actually do know, for once! What I need, right now, is just intimacy. Strokes and whispers and the snogging, touching, caressing.

When you realize that you don’t remember the last time you masturbated, you can either do one of two things. One is to grab the nearest sex toy and fuck yourself silly with it, many times, to make up for the imbalance in the universe. Two is just… shrugging. I think that’s what I did. Just shrugged and said, “Nah.”

“Nah”. Is that what sex is to me now? Just… not even a word? Just a sound? Either way, I’m just not that keen. Is this one of my fases where I go completely off sex and stuff? Or is this just something that is there? Do I really not need it?

Do you ever really “need” sex in your life, I wonder? I’ve always considered sex more as a want. Feel free to discuss.

The main thing I learned during my medicated black-out is that I need to be positive. Which is quite frankly fucking mission impossible sometimes. But, as I said in the last post, I’ve achieved a state of calm. I still get irked out by little things though. Just… noises. Words, things. Not being able to wash my hair because it might trigger the hives. It’s irksome, but I have the feeling that I’ll live through that.

I feel like a reasonably strong woman. The sexy times will come, I have no doubt. But in the meanwhile, I just need to keep myself going.

Random pic is random? Of course.

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