What I Want And What I Need

I want this house to be a home

No more cold rooms and cold hearts.

I need something I can come back to.


I want my body and mind to stop conspiring against me.

To feel like I’m healthy.

To stop living like I’m dying.


I need to put my money where my mouth is.

I want to make the changes.

But I’m not sure how.


I want the noise to stop.

To have a peaceful moment all to myself.

And take a deep breath and inhale the world.


I want to be fucked.

I want to make love.

I want to kiss and touch and caress.

Under warm sheets and in strong arms.


Hurt me.

Break me.

Hold me.

And build me up again.


I want to be loved.

I need to belong.

I need to be free. 

But I want it all

and I need it all,

with a greater love standing next to me.


x Jillian


Inspired by the lovely Mia at Little Girl Lost. May we both find what we are looking for.


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  1. Amazing. And amazing how it’s the same for me, though we’re separated by circumstances, thousands of miles, and almost 20 years. Thanks for putting feelings into words. xx

  2. Mia Lee

     /  May 9, 2012

    Beautiful Jilly, Thank you

  3. Absolutely stunning… I adore these posts, it truly bares your soul… ❤

  4. 300poundsdown

     /  May 10, 2012

    Just found your blog. what a great poet you are. I relate.

  5. This makes me just want to scoop you up and hold you. *hugs* ❤

  6. THIS^^ I want it all & more. I’ve started making the changes ~ now just to figure out the rest. Wishing you the best of everything on your journey from now till you find all that you seek.


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