I spent several hours ruminating on this last night. And by “ruminating”, I meant getting myself worked up into a froth about it. In these situations, I find it best to let it sit for a bit, and then write a short rant about it on the blog. Or in the case of the Fifty Shades controversy, ejaculate feels all over the page.

By coincidence, the topic of virginity loss has been brought up some times this week. Up until a point, I’d always treated it as something life-changing and dramatic and that nothing will ever be the same again sexually for me. But then I realized that what I was doing was basically pants.

I’m lucky to have very level-headed friends. And talking to a few of them made me rethink a lot of my beliefs on it.

Truth is, I don’t know how to write the rest of this post without losing my shit again. I can only speak for myself, so I hope that this doesn’t offend.

There’s really nothing special about this entire virginity thing for me. It just means that I’ve not had partnered sex yet. It’s not like it elevates me to a higher being. Last time I checked, I wasn’t part of the order of the Vestal Virgins.

I’ve stopped understanding the kerfuffle. Virginity does not make you into a special snowflake.

Thinking about why I’ve not had sex yet, I can’t come up with any other answer than that it’s just not come into my life yet. I do think about sex, and I have chosen to write about it. But that was because when I started writing about it, I was under the assumption that I was the polar opposite of normal.

It took me fifteen months to figure out that I’m actually just curious. It’s something that didn’t quite come into fruition up until this point in my life. I mean, there’s always been this notion of “What is this sex lark you are speaking of?” but it took a long time to come out of the shell. 

I just didn’t have any sex whilst coming out of it.

I’m pretty sure that everyone on this earth, starting from a certain age (depends on the human), thinks about sex in some way. Even if you’re denying it, or are completely against it, you’re thinking about it because you are denying it or are against it. If you get my drift. I am about a million percent sure that a virgin thinking about sex is not a special thing. I just chose to write down my thoughts on it and share them. Heck, I’m not the first virgin to do that. And- shock, horror- I may not even be the last!

I’m sure these aren’t all my thoughts on the subject. The mini-rant in my head last night may have brought up a lot more, in a much more outside-voice than this article has turned out. But this is what’s left of it.

I may not know it all, I may not see it all, but I know this: virginity is not what makes me into who I am.

Thank you for listening.

Jay Bee- out.


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