(warning, this post contains no sex whatsoever and shocking amounts of unexpected domesticity. And also lots of swearing about Kirstie Allsopp. Sorry Kirsty. But not really.)
With a few days off from the festive madness, we found ourselves down town, dipping our noses into the Boxing Day sales. I had the idea to decorate our workspace/lounge area with some funky business. So we went into a big shop that’s quite like John Lewis, but not really because the craft supplies aren’t ridiculously expensive.
“Right, what do you fancy getting?” he asks.
“Some cushions, some throws. Maybe a new duvet cover?”
“But we have enough of those.”
We got stuck in anyway. Wondering amongst the wasteland of chintz and tassels.
And I started noticing a trend.
And I know that things are basically like that for everything these days, but really… how fucking expensive is a cushion?
I mean, nine pounds for one. PRICED DOWN from twelve pounds fifty. One measly cushion costing the same as a DVD or a meal for four at McDonalds. Or something.
Then, I ventured on into the linen section, where the trend of various famous people inexplicably bringing out a range of bedlinen merrily continued.
Do you know how much a Kylie duvet goes for? Fifty quid. PRICED DOWN again. I don’ t think you can justify these kind of prices just because Kirsty Allsopp’s face is on the front. For fuck’s sake, all I wanted was a nice duvet for our bed! And some throws and cushions for our lounge!
Call me a skimpy bint, but I genuinely need to save money. And I’m betting I’m not the only one who is in that situation and also has decoration to do.
I realize this post is a bit of an overreaction. But I can’t help it. These pangs of domesticity are hitting me all over. I keep squeeing over settees and (expensive) cushions.
But leave it to Loverboy to be the voice of reason.
“I don’t know what I’m doing! I think we should get this. Or this. Or… what?”
“Baby, but what do you WANT? It’s not about what we need.”
In the end, I got away with card making supplies. Because all I really want is to give my hands something to do. (Apart from masturbation that is.)
But still, 50 quid for a duvet cover is too damn much. Even if it is purple and sparkly.