(warning, this post contains no sex whatsoever and shocking amounts of unexpected domesticity. And also lots of swearing about Kirstie Allsopp. Sorry Kirsty. But not really.)

With a few days off from the festive madness, we found ourselves down town, dipping our noses into the Boxing Day sales. I had the idea to decorate our workspace/lounge area with some funky business. So we went into a big shop that’s quite like John Lewis, but not really because the craft supplies aren’t ridiculously expensive.

“Right, what do you fancy getting?” he asks.

“Some cushions, some throws. Maybe a new duvet cover?”

“But we have enough of those.”

“Right. Okay.”

We got stuck in anyway. Wondering amongst the wasteland of chintz and tassels.

And I started noticing a trend.

And I know that things are basically like that for everything these days, but really… how fucking expensive is a cushion?

I mean, nine pounds for one. PRICED DOWN from twelve pounds fifty. One measly cushion costing the same as a DVD or a meal for four at McDonalds. Or something.

Then, I ventured on into the linen section, where the trend of various famous people inexplicably bringing out a range of bedlinen merrily continued.

Do you know how much a Kylie duvet goes for? Fifty quid. PRICED DOWN again. I don’ t think you can justify these kind of prices just because Kirsty Allsopp’s face is on the front. For fuck’s sake, all I wanted was a nice duvet for our bed! And some throws and cushions for our lounge!

Call me a skimpy bint, but I genuinely need to save money. And I’m betting I’m not the only one who is in that situation and also has decoration to do.


I realize this post is a bit of an overreaction. But I can’t help it. These pangs of domesticity are hitting me all over. I keep squeeing over settees and (expensive) cushions.

But leave it to Loverboy to be the voice of reason.

“I don’t know what I’m doing! I think we should get this. Or this. Or… what?”

“Baby, but what do you WANT? It’s not about what we need.”

In the end, I got away with card making supplies. Because all I really want is to give my hands something to do. (Apart from masturbation that is.)

But still, 50 quid for a duvet cover is too damn much. Even if it is purple and sparkly.

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  1. This whole post gave me a giggle! I don’t know who Kristy Allsopp is, nor do I know the conversion rate of quid or pounds to US Dollars; but I understand the frustrations of a newly domesticated girl and her quest for a stylish apartment at a reasonable cost. Mister and I are currently cohabitating and I want to decorate everything. Everything! We’re also saving for a wedding and two big trips to NY and Oregon. The cost for some things, like a nice duvet (that I know and we call it the same) are shocking. All I can say is keep an eye out for discounts, coupons, sales and perhaps learn to sew.

    Good luck on redecorating your office/lounge. x

    • Lovely to have you commenting here!

      Kirsty Allsopp is a woman who hosts a lot of shows on tv on crafts and re-doing your home. She’s quite cool. I have her book, actually. But I don’t agree with them raising the prices of a thing just because her face is on the front.

      Oh my God, I know the feeling. I just want to decorate ALL OF THE THINGS. Learning to sew is deffo on my list for this year.

      Thanks! We’ve actually managed quite well! xxxx


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