Things That Are And Aren’t

There now follows a list of things that aren’t good in my life right now. This is not a sexy list.

  1. We’re both still stressing about finding a place.
  2. I’m stressing about finding a job.
  3. His mother is now making suggestions as to what kind of a job I should get.
  4. Her latest suggestion was “assistant at a sandwich shop”.
  5. I feel like I waste all the time I have with doing shit I don’t need to do.
  6. All this stressing has appeared to have left me with the flu.
  7. His dad has offered to give me cooking lessons, which is totally awesome for when you’re dividing your time between bed and loo and the mere thought of food makes you cramp up and cry.
  8. We appear to have forgotten to have sex.
  9. His mum’s making me feel utterly incompetent.
  10. I want to do ALL THE THINGS AT ONCE.
  11. I’m 22 and I have no desire to settle for the mediocre.

This past weekend, we’ve been out and about for the first time in ages. On Friday, we were invited to attend the opening of Molly’s big photography exhibit at Sh!, which was an amazing laugh and a good chance to catch up with the likes of Lori Smith and The Fabulous Rubyyy Jones ™, and meet new people like the lovely fella behind Love Lust London and Bunny’s significant other, Silver (I’m sorry, mate, but you’ll always be Silva to me). Later on, a bunch of us piled into the always overcrowded Hoxton branch of Byron and nommed on really quite excellent burgers (and in my case, a lush and chocolatey brownie). It was amazing to catch up with Molly, and I would like to state for the record that if I had the money, she knows which picture I’d buy.

Saturday, we trekked all the way to the Southbank area for Erotic Meet, which had considerably changed since the last time I went. It was an intimate affair, which allowed me to catch up with my main diva, Josh Brandon (who found it rather ridiculous that in the seven months I’ve been in this country, we’ve never met up for drinks before). Triple L (my new name for Love Lust London) and Silver were also present, as were the dudes from Ohh My, who are absolutely lovely. Also, the Southbank is totally pornographic in its beauty. I squeed my tits off when I saw the BFI IMAX (and the giant ass Wreck It Ralph poster).

All in all, two days I completely loved. And I kept thinking that it’s ridiculous that we don’t see these people more often. I mean, it’s been a hundred years or so since I last touched base with Josh, and I never get the chance to sit down and natter with Rubyyy. Let alone have an actual conversation with Lori.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s bloody nice to not have to think about all the things on the list above. It’s really bloody nice to not have to think about the possibility of working as an assistant in a sandwich shop, living in a piss poor flat because “you don’t have to like your job/where you live, you just need to have a job/house.”

I don’t want to settle for that. The mediocre. I want a fun, funky, sparkly life, with my greatest love by my side, conquering the world together. I want to DO THAT THING, that ONE THING that nobody expects of me. I want to fly and I want to dance and I want to make love under the stars and go to James gigs with him and jam on his guitar and knit massive scarves and write dirty stories and learn cool things and read cool books and just Make Shit Happen.

And it brings me neatly to my Things That Are Pretty Damn Great About My Life List

  1. My boyfriend and our relationship.
  2. The moments we devote to having sex are earth-shatteringly amazing and hot as fuck.
  3. I have a hell of a lot of cool people in my life that I can count on and learn from, as this weekend proved.
  4. The needlecraft community in my area is awesome.
  5. I’m knitting my first project and it’s looking AWESOME.
  6. I’ve been writing stories again and the feeling of submitting my work is ALSO AWESOME.
  7. My second blogiversary is in a few days, which officially proves that I can stick with something and make it work. So NEENER TO YOU, EVERY TEACHER I EVER HAD.
  8. I got to treat myself to new business cards and bookie wooks because royalties ARE AWESOME.
  9. I know Rubyyy Jones and Lori Smith.
  10. My favourite columnist likes my blog.
  11. I still get to wake up in London every day.

See, there is shit I’m making happen, but you know… I could always do more.


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  1. My particular favourite on the 2nd list is No.7…. that is always a satisfying moment!

    Thank you coming along on Friday to my opening night it was wonderful to have such supportive friends around me for that special night


  2. I’m both sorry that you’re having to deal with all, well, *that* and insanely happy for you that you can see the positive things with all of it going on. If there’s one piece of advise I can give you, though, it’s to not view some mediocre (or even: crap) job as settling down.

    I felt that way when I started working in some grimy bar to help pay for our piss poor flat, and I wish there had been someone who would’ve told me that there is no ‘settling down’ when you’re just starting your twenties, there’s only starting your life. It certainly wasn’t my dream to be ordered around by rude people day in day out for minimum wage, but it allowed me to be independent and start a life with the boy I loved (and the man I love now).

    I’m not saying *you* have to view it this way, of course. But it would’ve saved me a lot of disappointment and worrying back then if I had seen that god awful job and shithole for what they were – merely a stepping stone to owning my life.

    In any case, I know you two will figure all this stuff out and somehow come out a little stronger, wiser and more determined. Cause you guys are to good together for that not to happen.

    … I’ll end my novel now, haha!

    Best of luck, and a lot of love to both of you.


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