Coitus Double Interruptus

So, as you may have gathered, ILB has the week off. Which I for one can only applaud. So far, we’ve mostly been doing nothing. And nothing appears to suit us, so hey.

But this morning, we were in the process of having a lie-in. Picture the scene, two happy love birds, lying about in the nuddy. They’re holding each other and being generally blissed out.

His cock is twitchy, which I point out to him and which leads to a devastatingly good bout of kissing. His hand slides between my legs, fondling with my pussy lips and other bits. I squirm under the touch. And not before long, he flips on top of me and enters me.

We’re fucking. Making love on a cold Tuesday morning (AGAIN, IN SPRING) when the heat of each other’s bodies is enough to warm us up.

“Now do you see why I wanted to stay in bed a little longer?” he says before round two commences. I give a hearty “Uh huh” before I get lost in the movement and joy of this unexpected bout of sexy times.

And just as round three is about to commence…..

The phone rings.

It’s my mum.

Has her care package arrived yet? No, I answer. Can you let us go “back to sleep” now? Yes, she answers and bids good day.

After a while of lying there, holding, he slips his hand between my legs and between my warm and wet folds. It doesn’t take him long to exclaim “Fuck it, we’re having sex again.”

He’s inside me in seconds and just as if the phone never happened, sex does happen.

And then the doorbell rings.

It is said care package.

He pulls out in the middle of sex and goes to answer the door. After he comes back with the enormous cardboard box, we decide that we need to get dressed.

Yep, that’s how you do coitus interruptus. Twice. In the space of fifteen minutes.


Leave a comment


  1. Haha! It sounds like a Harry Potter spell. At least you got it the first two times! 😉

  2. Awww lol. At least you got to have sex. On a Tuesday morning no less. Maybe he’ll finish the job later… 😉

  3. Of course, it is possible to turn the situation around… during one of the randier phases of the SO and I’s relationship, I would try and see what sorts of naughty things I could do to her whilst she was innocently chatting on the phone to her parents – resulted in a few hangups, if you catch my drift…

  4. LMBO I used to tell my mom she had a radar on when we having sex. Without fail she would call every time. I don’t care what time it was. Middle of the day, middle of the night that phone would ring.

  5. So frustrating…at least it isn’t the normal.

  6. petunia

     /  March 28, 2013

    This is what voice mail is for.


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