My Guide To Being A Sex Blogger

Sex blogging isn’t exactly the most glamorous way to spend time in your day. Although you do get to write about something that’s, let’s face it, freaking brilliant. I’ve been doing this for over two years now, and I’ve had my moments where I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window in fits of a rage wank against… well, whatever it was that was bothering me about the sex community at that time.

But I’ve learned some pretty useful lessons along the way. And although I’m not the most clued-up person in the world (really, if you’re looking for clued-up, you’ve veered right past that street and ended up in Dumbass Alley. You know it. It’s the dingy one behind the cinema.) I thought I’d share some things with you.

You know, for laughs.

My (Brief) Guide To Being A Sex Blogger

  1. Have a basic grasp of spelling and grammar rules. Especially when it comes to words relating to sex.
  2. If you’ve got a genius idea for a post, but it’s three o’clock in the morning and you need sleep because work, keep a notepad by your side. Preferably also a pen.
  3. Don’t go into sex blogging because you think it will get you free swag and a book deal. Chances are that you are not the next Brooke Magnanti or Zoe Margolis. And that’s perfectly okay.
  4. Read. Lots. Educate yourself.
  5. Have an open mind and bundles of interest.
  6. If you have an opinion about sex, share it. Don’t think about getting shot down. Just share.
  7. If you do get shot down, deal with it Don Lockwood-style. “Dignity. Always Dignity.”
  8. Your interests may differ from other people’s interests. That does not mean that they are less of a person than you are.
  9. Don’t be a douche.
  10. Try and mix up your posts. Don’t only write about how amazing your sex life is, but maybe post the occasional picture, or an erotic story, or an opinion or something funny. Variety and spice and that.
  11. Really, don’t be a douche. If your goal in blogging is to upset people and spread malice, then you can just fuck right off.
  12. Go your own way with things. Don’t copy other bloggers. Don’t try to be the next this or that. Be the first you. And the only you.
  13. James Dean and James Deen : not the same person. Remember this.
  14. Don’t use purple prose to describe whatever it is you’re describing. Just call it like it is. Call a penis a penis and a vagina a vagina.
  16. Use a layout for your blog that is easy to navigate, and a colour and font for your text that is easily legible.
  17. The community is what you make of it.
  18. Coffee (or tea) always helps with writing. This goes for any sort of writing, not just sex blogging.
  19. If you’ve got no comments on a post, it does not mean that your post is crap.
  20. Don’t be afraid. Nobody bites. Nobody will eat you for expressing yourself.
  21. If you’re still afraid, talk to another blogger first. Let them help you set up and let them take those first steps with you.
  22. Be ethical. Always.
  23. Do it because it makes you feel good. Do it because of a love for writing.
  24. If you disagree with something, disagree politely. And with your inside voice please.
  25. Sex is a beautiful thing. Respect that.

I’m sure there’s more but that’s what I could think of off the bat.

Also, if you don’t know who Grammar Cat is…


Grammar Cat courtesy of Cressida Downing.

Leave a comment


  1. Great tips! My favorite is #16! 🙂

  2. All of this is helpful & fun except #4. People should write when they have something to write about, and not all bloggers (Sex- or otherwise-) have the time, inclination, and/or subject matter for a post as often as once a week. That shouldn’t prevent anyone from expressing themselves when and how they are able, so to say they shouldn’t bother? Not cool.

    • You’re absolutely right, and I do apologize for saying that. I think I meant something entirely different, but it came out wrong.

  3. I love ’em … but in general I disagree with “Don’t use purple prose to describe whatever it is you’re describing.”

    Especially in my work life, I will use purple prose – our management have been the “rampant bundle of indecision and ineptitude” etc. It just helps to break up the day and brings a smile to people’s face. Not every sentence, every paragraph but a couple of silly phrases brightens up an email IMO.

    But then, maybe that’s me getting ever closer to my P45!

  4. I like your tips. I am a brand new noob and there are aspects of getting started that frustrate the hell out of me but… I want to keep going with it. Thanks for the advice.

  5. Love the tips and words of wisdom. Like how you stressed not being negative.

  6. I think another tip, is to actually have an interesting sex life, or at least an interesting outlook or opinion on sex. I have read some where the missionary position is bigged up like its the second coming.

    • Okay, two things.

      1) You don’t necessarily need an interesting sex life to start a blog. If you want to write about sex, however good, bad or non-existant your sex life is, bloody well do it. I did it, and I’m still going. Everyone has a different outlook or opinion about sex. Define to me what is “interesting”?

      2) So what if you love the missionary position? Not every blog’s owner can claim an adventurous sex life, and that’s fine! Personally, it’s my go-to position because it allows for the deep kind of penetration I like and it gives my partner the chance to go as fast or slow as he wants. If loving missionary makes me a bore, than by God, call me Ms. Bore.


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