She Knows Best

In which I talk about things wot parents do, after the jump.

My other half and I have been together for almost a year now. Time, fast and all that, but this is most definitely not a post about how time flies when you’re happy and in love.

Rather, this is a post about how some people would like time to go even faster. Namely, mothers.

I’m not saying the following goes for all mothers in the world ever. I’d be bloody lying if I claimed that. But some mothers do seem to have this mindset where, as soon as you announce that a relationship has commenced, they are so overcome with joy that they spontaneously start planning the wedding. Or in my mother’s case, what our not-yet-conceived children would call her.

She’s been planning that one for years.

In the last few months, she’s casually mentioned the notion of me being pregnant during Skype conversations. Several times, in fact. And at all times, she follows this up with “Because, you know, I’d totally be okay with that.” and recently, “You could bring it here if you’re a bit strapped for help. I’ll raise it!”

I don’t really know how to follow that, other than making one of my Jim Halpert faces at her and huffing. See, I like to think of myself as sassy, but when it comes to the crunch (of which I, of course, know nothing about) I can’t sass for the life of me.

I think I’ve mentioned before that we’re both keen on safe sex. I’m on the pill, and whenever it’s called for, we use a condom. Which I’ve explained to my mother on several occasions. But still, she lets the pregnancy thing slip into conversation. Once, I mentioned to her that, after an appointment with my GP, he’d told me to go back once every two weeks. This was to monitor how I was getting on with my new anti-depressants, but the every two weeks thing combined with the fact that I hadn’t appeared on Skype in a few days and had mentioned fatigue…

Well, I kind of see where she made that connection. Still….

I don’t know how to end this post, really. Something tells me that some witticism won’t do, as this is quite a personal post on some levels. So I’ll end this on the fact that I absolutely love my mother. But sometimes she freaks me out a bit.


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  1. Blessedly this doesn’t happen to me as I cannot have children (yay!!) but also my mum wouldn’t force kids on me because I’m certain she thinks I should be a virgin forever. If she knew my insistence on finding out if I could have children or not was so that we could stop the condom nonsense, she’d ring my neck!


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