The 100th Sunday Snog Spectacular


It’s a very special edition of Sunday Snog today, as we’re snogging for the 100th time! And, as per Victoria’s wish, we’re snogging for charity as well.

The charity we’re (Victoria, me, and all the other writers participating) supporting is Médecins Sans Frontières/Doctors Without Borders. They’ve been helping people in war-torn regions and developing countries since 1971, and we’re raising money for them to carry on their amazing work.

So, first things first. The snogging. This is a snoggy excerpt from a story I wrote called Pound A Punnet. Basically, it’s about a woman a quickie with a hot market stall holder, in his van, near Covent Garden. With added fruit.

“Ah, my prized apples!”

He opened the doors to his van and I watched, as he rummaged through the countless boxes of fruit and produced an apple. He fingered the waxy, red skin and smiled. “Yep, this is definitely a favorite of mine. Care to try?”

I nodded and took the apple from him. And, of course, the first bite was one to savor. Such sweet skin and a heavenly core… I moaned again, letting the taste linger for a moment.

“So good!”

“Well, that flatters me enormously.” he said, beaming. Then he added, “You know, I’ve never seen anyone eat fruit in such a sensuous way. You make tasting a rare art form.”

“Wow… thanks, I guess. It’s good fruit, which helps.”


He frowned, as if he was trying to catch me out on something. “I was hoping it’s because you find me attractive.”  

I nearly choked on my apple. Shit! How did he… Oh right, because I’m the most conspicuous person in the world.  

“Well… well…ehm… Well, you are quite nice to look at.”

“Hmm… Go on?”

“And… and you are charming. And I like your fruit. And…and… fuck, you’re making it hard for me to focus.”

“Shall I take over?” he said, stepping closer towards me. “For some reason, you keep coming back to my stall, and I’m guessing it has fuck-all to do with my good fruit and more to do with how much you want to do this.”

Before I could protest, he pulled me in and enveloped my mouth in a wet, hungry kiss.  The mid-afternoon sun beat down heavily on us, and I had to stop to catch my breath and wipe the sweat from my brow.

“Fuck…” I sighed. “You have no idea…”

“How much you wanted that? How long you’ve been waiting for it? How much you want me to fuck you between the apples and pears in the back of my van?”

“Yes, yes and oh my sweet god, yes!”

I read this story at In The Flesh London, and it went down quite well. I must say, it inspires you to give your five-a-day another go, doesn’t it?

Anyway. Second order of the day. I’ve got a prize to give away! One of you lucky lot will snag an e-book copy of Smut By The Sea Vol. 2 (which has lots of amazing stories in it, including my Charmer).

What do you have to do to win?

Write a very dirty limerick about food and sex. Leave your results in the comment section. You’ve got time till September 27th, and after that, I will pick the winner. Go on! Get creative!

For more snogging goodness, see who else is joining in on the BlisseKiss website. They’re all giving away fabulous prizes, so read, love and do your bit for charity.

If you want to learn more about their work, visit the Doctors Without Borders website.

And, if you want to donate, go to Victoria’s JustGiving page and help us smash our £100 pound target.

Leave a comment


  1. The government should use you for their five a day campaigns – then again, we may end up with a fruit shortage before the day is out!

    Here is my limerick:-

    She’s got curves for days and sin in spades
    Such a salacious creature, as I unwrap her
    I want to eat chocolate off
    All of her gorgeous peaks and troughs
    And kiss her until there’s nothing left

  2. Morning and evening
    Maids heard the goblins cry:
    “Come buy our orchard fruits,
    Come buy, come buy:
    Apples and quinces,
    Lemons and oranges,
    Plump unpecked cherries-
    Melons and raspberries…

    Sorry, couldn’t resist!

  3. victoriablisseuk

     /  September 23, 2013

    Oooh, lovely appley kiss! Thanks for joining in!

  4. Trix

     /  September 25, 2013

    Once a young girl from Savannah
    Ate dessert inside a cabana
    She loved ice cream with sauce
    But felt at a loss
    When a voice said “That’s not a banana…”

  5. From the point of view of a British girl shopkeeper:

    Full of chocolates and fruits, my great store is –
    Sweetmeats, toffees and chewies and more fizz.
    Although I now and then
    Fuck American men
    I don’t understand what a “s’more” is.

    A bit niche there. One more:

    There once was a man from Japan
    And sake, to drink, was his plan.
    He drank night and day
    And would regularly say:
    “Am not as drunk as you think I am.”

    Doesn’t really rhyme. Last one:

    Though you would like me to be blunt,
    I don’t want to cause much affront.
    But I like oral sex,
    And its funny effects,
    So sit back and I’ll feast on your vagina.

  1. 100th Sunday Snog for Médecins Sans Frontières . . . | modestyablaze

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