(TMI – very much so. I apologise, but not really, because in hindsight, this was actually fucking funny. In the moment…. not so much.)
It started with something Young Raver was talking about. A throwaway comment about slicing onions, crying and masturbation – we were watching a film and I wasn’t paying too much attention to anything, really.
But YR’s comment did make me giggle.
It reminded me of a little accident I had, a couple of years ago. I had a cold going on, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to have a little play with myself.
So, I did. Only to remember that I’d just applied Vicks to my chest – so there was still some residue on my fingers. Unfortunately, I was already in the middle of my fiddle, and found this out the hard way.
It felt a bit like sitting on an air-conditioning unit without any panties on. It might have been close to what Marilyn felt while standing on that air vent with her skirt flapping about.
And yeah, I did feel a bit like an idiot. Minty fresh is a thing you want for your teeth, not your labia. Believe me, the after effects of this lasted longer than I cared for.
But, in hindsight, it was just silly.
Trust Young Raver to involuntarily remind me of this moment. It was by far not the only raunchy thing he said that night, but that’s stories for another time. For now, let’s just mull upon the dangers of using mint-based substances during a wank. Or something like that.