Tantrums of A Tumescent Nature – Meg Philip’s Book Launch

Meg Philip is a very dirty lady. Seriously, I’ve known the woman for three years now, and every time I hear her read from her work, I am amazed at just how brilliantly dirty (and fucking funny) she is.

So, when she invited me to come to the launch of her new book, I bloody well said yes. In fact, not only did I say yes; I signed up to be one of the other authors reading at the event, because it’s Meg Philip and she’s awesome.

Meg had expertly set up the launch for her third book (Monique’s Tumescent Tantrums) in what’s just about the closest thing to my spiritual home; Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium in Hoxton. She’d even arranged for Hummingbird Bakery cupcakes, for which I’m ever so grateful because they were lush and I had about nine of them.

To be fair, though, I was bricking it just a tiny bit. On top of being tired and not having practised my excerpt, I also had an ILB with me who was in the process of getting very ill indeed. That he even managed to stay upright during the evening was a little miracle to me.

(He’s been in bed the rest of the weekend though, bless him. Lemsip and cuddles.)

So, with a hint of trepidation, we zigzagged through the evening commuters at Liverpool Street and made our way to Sh!.

Needless to say, I really needn’t have worried.

After milling about in the shop for a while, I went downstairs to find Molly Moore getting laced into her corset by Mr. Signs. Familiar faces, thank god. I can’t honestly remember the last time I’d seen either of them, so it was a lovely (if unfortunately too brief) catch-up.

We were joined by Zak Jane Keir, and chatted about authorly things, as one does when one’s with other authors. We talked about the importance Eroticon had taken on in the erotic writing community, and how it felt like there was something missing – beyond Eroticon, there aren’t that many opportunities for the community to socialize and learn from each other.

Rest assured, plans were made.

The night itself was excellently emcee’d by a chap called Elliot, who held his own brilliantly. First up reading was a new face, named La’Toya Sparkles (amazing name, that) reading from her debut novel (called Assariyah: Money Over Everything). She did brilliantly for her first reading, and I really hope to see her at more events (hopefully she brings her friends along again; they were in the first row and brilliantly enthusiastic).

Then it was my own turn. I was reading an excerpt from a yet-to-be-published story, which involved masturbation, chocolate and a mention of bin gunge that I swear nearly lost me my erotic author card.

I reckon I did quite alright though. People seemed to like my story, and I didn’t drop dead (although I thought I might, because I had no breath left at the end of my 5 minutes). I hope that story does eventually get published. Fingers crossed. (And yes, as is custom at Sh! readings, I was duly punished for going over my five minutes with a spank on the bottom).

Molly was next, reading from her story Love To Hate (from Alison Tyler’s Twisted: Bondage With An Edge) which I thought was rather amazing. We had a little moment together, earlier on, where we were both fretting about spelling mistakes in already submitted (and published) stories, which I think every writer has had at some point. But Molly needn’t have worried, because she aced it.

You’ll have to excuse me, because my memory gets a little hazy at that point. Bullet points away!

  • So many cupcakes.
  • Zak reading a very inspired excerpt about a very slow train ride that turns naughty.
  • Dragon King’s Daughter arriving with phasers set to stun (that outfit though).
  • DKD then going on to read a poem she clearly knew by heart and fucking killing it because she’s stupendously amazing.
  • K D Grace having everyone in fits of laughter with her excerpt from Fulfilling the Contract, the sequel to The Initiation of Ms Holly.
  • Me actually uttering the words “I volunteer as Tribute” when Zak told Elliot that she would be delivering, not receiving the spanking.
  • Me getting said spanking.
  • ILB winning the rude joke contest and therefore winning a copy of Meg’s book.

And finally, our star of the night, Meg, reading a saucy excerpt from her book (and having the entire crowd in fits of laughter by doing a pitch-perfect, Yardie-accented bit of dirty talking).

As I said to ILB, while walking back to the station: “I think I needed that.”

He agreed. “We both needed that.”

And I think we both hope to have a lot more of “that” (sex writing community time)  in the months to come.

Thanks to Meg for letting me read (you absolute star), thanks to Sh! and Fink Unlimited for hosting the night and thanks to all the lovely people who showed up/read stories.

And, hey, this week I wrote about voicing it and reading to a public at the lovely Kay Jaybee’s blog.