Baton Twirling Blog Hop

I was invited by the lovely Elizabeth from The Little Shop of Erotic Delights to take over the baton in a blog hop. You can find her answers here. Basically the idea is that I ask myself some questions, so that you get an insight in to how I work and why I write. So, here I go…

Just to start this post out...

Just to start this post out…

Why and when did you start writing?

Ooh… I’ve been writing since I was a small ‘un. I think I just grew into it, making up stories and living in my own head. I still do.


When did you start blogging?

I’ve been blogging on and off since I was 17, just to give myself some purpose. But Lady Laid Bare was born in February 2011. It had a different name when it started out (the rather unimaginative Secrets and Fantasies), but I eventually decided that Lady Laid Bare made more sense. Next month will be my two year bloggiversary, and I’m very proud I stuck to it for that long. I plan to do it for a hell of a lot longer too.

When did you start writing erotic fiction?

I started out by doing short stories on the blog, honing my mad skillz. Then, in August 2011, I went to Erotic Meet for the first time, where I met my good friend Elenya Lewis. We shared a hotel room and apparently a passion for erotic fiction. I still credit her for getting me to the point of submitting my first story, which happened in October that year.

Why do you write erotic fiction?

Because I feel very comfortable in the genre. It’s such a broad spectrum and gives you a lot to toy around with.

What’s your writing routine?

I’m trying to build up one. It usually depends on a couple of factors, like what time of the day it is, where my partner is and how much I’m willing to do that day.

If I had it my way, I would wake up at 6.45. Have a shower, have breakfast and make coffee. See my partner off to work, take coffee to my workplace and boot up the laptop. Skip past the emails and write for two hours. Then a break for emails. Then more writing. Break for blogging. More writing.

And then some reading time.

What inspires you?

Other books. Art. Films.

What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

I like watching shit television, cooking, reading and snogging the eff out of my partner.

What would you do if you couldn’t be a writer?

In the words of Dr. Mark Greene… die, I guess.


There you go. I hope you like these answers… I’m passing this meme over to my partner in crime Rhye X at Seven Seas of Rhye, btw.

Who Are You, Meme?

Haven’t done Sunday Stealing in a long while… So, let’s right that wrong, shall we?

This week, SS is… well, there’s been a change! We’ve got a new person in charge! But you don’t care about that! You just want me to bring on the snark! And so I shall!


1. What is your biggest pet peeve?

My biggest pet peeve is people asking me if it turns me on that I turn people on with my writing. Let me solve this once and for all. No, it doesn’t. If it turns you on, well hey, that’s really really good. But I don’t write to turn people on. I write because I’m a writer.

2. Where and when were you born?

In a hospital, on a snowy December day, at midday.

3. Where did your parents meet?

Apparently through the contact pages… Mum told me this only recently.

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like in four words?

I don’t have any siblings. I’m the only BoydieBird in the world. *sob, but not really*

5. Where do you live now, and with whom?

London, with eleven other really bonkers people.

6. What is your occupation?

Fiction author and website journalist. To put it in a very fancy way.

7. Write a full description of yourself.

Small. Bespectacled. Hair. Clothes. Snark.

8. To which social class do you belong?

I’m the Barenaked Lady. I belong in a class all on my own, darling.

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

Of course. But like hell that I’m going to tell you!

10. Are you right- or left-handed?

I’m a righty.

11. What does your voice sound like?

Like a Belgian with an Americo-Canadian accent.

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

Ehm, like, shit, fuck, bloody.

13. What do you have in your pockets?

My house keys most likely.

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

I gesticulate a lot. Like, watch Matt Smith in an interview. I’m exactly like that.


TMI Random

My one-month ban on memes has officially expired, so please welcome that regular Tuesday stalwart, TMI Tuesday, back for some more randomness. Which is the theme this week.

On we go.


1. Tell us about your sluttiest act ever.

What, the sluttiest thing I’ve ever done? Oh babe, that’s too TMI even for you to know… 

2. Have you ever played air-guitar. . .naked?

No, but give me about a week, and I’ll get back to you on that. 

3. To what song do you most like to play air-guitar either clothed or naked?

Has to be Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. 

4. Are you good in bed? Why?

Ehm…. I don’t think that’s for me to decide!  

5. What FEELS Sexy to you–tactile sensation? (Leave sight and taste out of this)

Hmm… being bitten in the neck. That moment where the hand slips under the waistband of your panties. Nipples being sucked and bitten… Ooof, I’m getting all unusual. 

Bonus: Write a six word autobiography.

Born. Hovered. Blossomed. Sex. Love. Writing.


Free Your Mind

You know me, I have no qualms about doing a meme. This isn’t exactly a straight-up one, but it does help you delve deeper into your mind… And I like doing that too…



  • How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Still the same age, I guess. Or is it one of the mysteries of the Universe and do I never get to know my age? Am I not 21?

  • Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying. When you try and you fail, at least you have the satisfaction of knowing you gave it a go.

  • If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Because we have no idea how to spend our time optimally.

  • When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

That’s quite probably the situation. Although I hope I’d have done at least a bit of it.

  • What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

How we look at each other. How we only see the physical and never bother to ask for what a person’s really like.

  • If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Helping people. Which sounds like a cliche answer, but it would make me dangerously happy. Failing that, if I could get rich on happiness from making my cards, that would be good.

  • Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Half and half. I’m sort of settling in the not making money from writing yet thing. But I truly believe in my writing.

  • If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I would live healthy, I would not have wasted years on an education I wasn’t proud of and I would make it my business to travel and meet people.

  • To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Up until a point, I have had control of the course I’ve been taking. But there are things my parents needed to push me in, and things I did with help from others.

  • Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I worry about both an equal amount.

  • You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

I would butt in and just tell them. I am fiercely protective of my friends and I will not take crap about them from anyone. No matter how much I respect and admire the people talking.

  • If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Learn to love yourself early on. It will pay off in later life.

  • Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Without a doubt. If my mum or dad or my friends were in trouble, I would go very far to save them.

  • Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Of course I have! I see insanity every single day. Every morsel of insane is a spark of creativity waiting to burst into life.

  • What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

Tie my shoelaces. Always have been different at that. Didn’t learn to do so until a later age.

  • How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Because everyone has different happys.

  • What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?

There’s a lot I would like to still do in my life, but going to Australia does stand out. I sort of want to be able to say that I had sex with a Bondi Beach life guard (because seriously, they are HAWT.)

  • Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Of course I am. I am holding on to regrets and anger from years ago, that I still haven’t learned to let go of.

  • If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

I would move to Berlin, because I am in lust with the German language and want to spend some time learning it.

  • Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

No! I push once and stand back!

  • Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

What, no joyful genius?

  • Why are you, you?

I am me because of the shared genetics of two lovely people, the things I learned over the years, the experiences I’ve had and will keep having and one hundred percent power of will.

  • Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

In some ways, I haven’t. But I’m learning. I’m learning.

  • Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

Losing touch with a friend who lives near you. If I lost touch with everyone I know here in the UK, I don’t think I would survive. It would be like a part of my bones that went missing.

  • What are you most grateful for?

That there are good people out there who love me as much as I love them.

  • Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

That’s madness. I would rather lose my bad memories and retain the good ones.

  • Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

Not very likely. The only truths that you can know for sure are the truths within you.

  • Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Nearly. I’ve come close to losing my mother a couple of times, which scared the shit out of me.

  • Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

Actually, I do vaguely recall a couple of times I was upset five years ago. But I don’t see these people anymore, so it doesn’t matter.

  • What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

Being on the telly! Those were a wicked couple of days! I got the chance to perform a magic trick on a kids telly show, along with one or two other girls from my class. Fucking ace!

  • At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

I feel most passionate and alive in the throes of passion. Passion gives me this amazing energy!

  • If not now, then when?

Now. Or yesterday, even.

  • If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

I have nothing to lose except money and dignity, and I’m pretty sure I want to keep at least one of those.

  • Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Yes! Those are some amazing moments!

  • Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Because of people who take those religions too seriously.

  • Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?


  • If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

I would buy a nice house, and keep my job.

  • Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work I enjoy doing.

  • Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

I have that Groundhog Day feeling an awful lot…

  • When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

When I moved here! I had no idea what I wanted to do, and only the notion of wanting to live in the UK.

  • If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

Everyone! I would make it my business! Also, stop being so morbid!

  • Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

Not a chance. I am attractive, I like to think. And I have no need to be famous. I don’t want to let go of 10 years in which I could experience so much just for a bit of empty fun.

  • What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

How you fill your time. You are alive. But are you really using up every bit of time you have to experience what you want to experience? That’s living.

  • When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

When it feels that way. The moment you just say “Fuck it. How hard can it be?”

  • If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Because we’re afraid of the consequences of the potential mistake.

  • What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

The flat. I would do the flat up in the most chintzy, kitschy way possible.

  • When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Whenever I think I’ve stopped breathing, I tend to notice it.

  • What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love life. And I hope that I openly express this just by smiling and being myself.

  • In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

In five years from now, I will only remember the moments that mattered. The words that touched me. The touches that made me gasp. I will not remember watching a certain show on television, or eating a certain food. I will remember what sticks in the heart.

  • Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I am making them for myself. I hope.

More Meme Madness

Do you know the weird thing about this post? I done wrote it yesterday. That’s right, I scheduled it. Because I am planning a blog-free day! Because I need it! Because nerrrrr!

Anyway, we continue the meme goodness. Also because nerrrr.


81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick?

The freedom to spoil films. Which is not an actual freedom, but fuck it, you don’t get to do that anymore! NERRR!

82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole?

Can I decide on a happy medium? I don’t like being too hot or too cold.

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television?

Listening to music. I can not live without my telly, which is a very sad thing, but hey. I like switching my brain box off for a few hours to watch shit shows.

84. What do you think makes someone a hero?

Besides the spandex?

Kindness, generosity and being brave.

85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in?

I’d like to be on The Simpsons. Always wondered what that would be like. I could be the wise-cracking shop assistant. Or Lisa’s new class mate. Or a fish with four eyes. That can speak. And is called Robinson Tooting Brown. Or something.

86. Name one thing that turns your stomach:

Carrots and peas.

87. What was the last thing you paid for?

My groceries.

88. Are you a coupon clipper?

No, but I could be one… If I can find coupons, I would be.

89. Get anything good in the mail recently?

A vibrator, porn and a kit for swishing clothes.

90. Which would you rather take as a gym class…dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling?

Dancing. I love to dance!

91. In Star Trek people ‘beam’ back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person’s memories. So…

Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends?


92. What insects are you afraid of?

Bees and wasps.

93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say?

*knock knock knock* Penny! *knock knock knock* Penny!

94. What’s the most eccentric thing you have ever worn?

I don’t tend to wear eccentric things…. I’m bland in the wardrobe department!

95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be?

Red velvet cake.

96. What are your parents interested in?

My mum’s interested in African and Eastern art and culture. Dad’s interested in action movies, I think.

97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?


Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal?

Yes. Many, many years ago, I came across a monkey. He was alone, sad and crying out for a friend. I took pity on him, and took him into my home. We became best friends.

Which is something that sadly never happened. Wow, I’m sad now…

98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans?

Plans. Wishes are uncertain. Plans are things you can take steps towards.

99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest?

Deep in my belly!

100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring?

Flashlight, lilo and book.

Maxi Meme Part The Third

Yes, we are doing this again. Deal with it.

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?

A batch of greeting cards. They turned out very well, I think.

53. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Barbie. I think. D’you know, I don’t remember.

54. How many TV’s are in your house?

One, in the living room/office.

55. What is your favorite thing to do outside?

People-watch. It’s a guilty pleasure of mine.

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow?

Ridiculously giddy. I love rainbows!

57. Have you ever dreamed a dream that came true?

I usually dream of things that have already happened, so in a way… yes?

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader?

I have. During all the woes at school, I called a psychic hotline. She was bloody wrong, she was.

59. What is your idea of paradise?

A bed. A man. Clean sheets. Strawberries. Heaven.

60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like?

Oof… tough one. I believe in something. Let’s keep it at that.

61. Do you believe in Hell?

Of course I do. I just have to cross the parking lot and I’m in hell/Iceland.

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven’t?

Been tied to a St Andrews cross…. does that count?

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?

No idea. I’m sure I’ve done lots of kind things, but I have no clue.

64. Are you a patient person?

Not in the least.

65. What holiday should exist but doesn’t?

International Sparkly Things and Cupcakes Day.

66. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does?

National Inane Answer Message Day. January 30th. I shit you not.

67. What’s the best joke you ever heard?

So Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar and doesn’t.

68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been?

The Disney Store! (only joking)

69. Is your hair natural or dyed?

Dyed. I’ve been dying it for ten years now…

70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?

I have my share of secrets…

71. What is under your bed right now?

My camera bag.

72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home?

Go home.

73. If you drive do you frequently speed?

I don’t drive, and I wish I could drive.

74. What is the world’s best song to dance to?

I Like The Way You Move by Outkast.

75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone?

Papi by Jennifer Lopez.

76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers?


77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo?

The meerkats. I want to see if they really do speak with a Russian accent.

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?

I do consider myself to have a romantic soul…

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off?

And drift into space. Yes.

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it?


Maxi Meme Part 2

Here’s the second part of today’s maxi meme. Just because I liked doing the first one. And I have no idea what it was that I was actually going to do. Also, I’m bored.


21. Are you more of a giver or a taker?

Both. Because I like giving and taking. Simple as.

22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind?

You kinda have to do both, don’t you? To make a decent decision, heart and mind need to work together in some way.

23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?

A week-long hive breakout.

24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?

Getting told that my teachers had no faith in me completing my year.

25. Who have you hugged today?

26. Who has done something today to show they care about you?

A very lovely lady friend of mine. I owe her lots and lots of thanks.

27. Do you have a lot to learn?

Yes. Doesn’t everybody?

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?

A How to sew.

B How to bake.

C How to paint.

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel?

How other people make me feel, followed by what they say and what they do.

30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?

Trust, common interests, chemistry and good inside jokes.

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?

See Australia

B Learn how to bake from Eric Lanlard

C Dance again

There are so many things I want to do before I die though. I can’t believe I can’t do them all…
32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing?

I wouldn’t want to die to avoid doing anything! Sure, there will be more unpleasant things in my life as I go along, but I want to face and fight them!

33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?

I believe in lots of causes, but good sexual education gets my loudest shouts.

34. What does each decade make you think of:

The 19..

20’s: Flappers. Fat Sam’s Grand Slam. Speakeasies. Gangsters. Charleston. Golden Age of Hollywood.

30’s: Uprising. Depression. War is coming.

40’s: Suffering. Death. Evil. Victory. Rejoice.

50’s: The rise of alt comedy. The Goons. The Frost Report. Rebuilding after the war.

60’s: Hippies. Free love. Woodstock. The Beatles. Rock and roll is coming. Doctor Who. James Bond.

70’s: Music. More free love. I have no idea. Seriously.

80’s: New Romantics. Fall of the Berlin Wall. Excellent music. 

90’s: I was born. Lots of stuff happened for lots of years. Princess Di died. Friends and ER were on the telly. Steps.

2000’s: Shit music. Lots of unhappy things at home. Dawn of the reality show.

2010’s: Good things come my way.

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why?

The 20s. I love everything about this decade. The style, the music, the lore, just everything.

36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song?

Ballroom Blitz by The Sweet. Because it totally counts.

37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country?

I live in the UK and our leader is a massive ball bag in a suit.

If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?

Here’s a tenner. Now, dance for me, you prick.

38. What’s your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?

I stopped watching TV in the middle of the night, but I’m guessing it would be Dave, because I really can’t get enough of episodes of Top Gear from 2004.

39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?

I like to pretend I’m Cruella (without the need to skin puppies.)

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?

No. I think I did try it at some point, but seriously, a mistake.

41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?

Fly. Although I would love to take a boat at some point in my life.

42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?

Because someone switches off the light in the sky at night.

43. What does your name mean?

She who is sparkly.

Or, the actual answer:

Jillian \j(il)-lian\ as a girl’s name is pronounced JIL-ee-an. Variant of Gillian, from Julian; diminutive of Juliana (Latin) “youthful“. See also Jill.

44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space?

Space, dude. I want to roam around through all of space and time…

45. Word association

What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:

Air: Floating

Meat: Steak

Different: Special

Pink: Unicorn

Deserve: Opportunity

White: Album

Elvis: Jelly

Magic: Moments

Heart: Beating

Clash: This is Radio

Pulp: St Martin’s College.

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?

Alfred Hitchcock. But I would spend most of our meeting hiding behind a sofa, because he scares the shit out of me.

47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive?

Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer.

48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?

Honestly, no, there isn’t. I’m sure I would eventually get tired of it.

49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do?

Why would I be stuck alone in a lift for a week? That’s not exactly a healthy situation! Cabin fever would set in! Hunger! Bladder problems! Don’t leave me in this lift!

50. Have you ever saved someone’s life or had your life saved?

I don’t know if I’ve ever saved someone’s life. Or had my life saved.
51. Make up a definition for the following silly words…

Fruitgoogle: A search engine specifically for fruit.

Ambytime: A new type of phone plan.

Asscactus: That feeling you get when you’ve been sitting down for too long. Like a cactus pricking your arse.

Maxi Meme

Good morning, lovelies. I can only apologize for the lack of posts yesterday. And, by default, for the post that’s about to follow. It’s a sign, you see. A signs that I have no idea what to write this week. I could tell you about my first day of work as a volunteer. I could tell you about the job interview I have in a few weeks time. But instead, I choose to give you a little slice of a massive meme I found online. It has 5000 questions. Eep.

Of course, I’m not going to answer them all. And, of course, the work thing will be in another post at another moment. But for now, je vais passer à la rédaction de ce moi-moi.


1. Who are you?

I am Jillian Eva Boyd, writer, blogger, poet and kitsch maven.

2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?

I like vintage fashion and styling. I could basically live on cake. I’m a total geek.

3. When you aren’t filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing?

Blogging, working, writing, generally going about my daily business.

4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn’t like at the time).

That’s bloody well easy. I didn’t like most of my classes.
5. What is your biggest goal for this year?

Getting my life sorted out here in the UK. And getting started on my book.

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Thriving in city life, hopefully with a partner, a good job and a decent writing career.

7. What stage of life are you in right now?

Early twenties. That “fuck it, I’ll do it” kind of stage that I’ve grown to love.

8. Are you more child-like or childish?

A little bit of column a and a little bit of column b….

9. What is the last thing you said out loud?

“I really need to get to Tesco and get myself some decent food for the next few days.” was not what I said. But I thought it.

You don’t want to know what I actually said.

10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?

11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes?

I have! I took a summer martial arts course when I was younger, and it kicked the shit out of me. Fortunately, I took it with a friend, so I wasn’t alone. I figured we had a good giggle.

12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?

Better! Definitely better! It has its ups and downs, but it’s getting so much better!

13. Does time really heal all wounds?

No idea. But I bet you can really feck with a doctor’s head by asking him just that….

14. How do you handle a rainy day?

By going out and standing in the rain and laughing my tits off.

15. Which is worse…losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights?

Losing your luggage! You can eventually find a way to sort out the lights, which can’t be said for those occasions when you’re in Spain and your laptop’s in Abu Dhabi!

16. How is your relationship with your parents?  Will you miss them when they are gone?

My relationship with my parents is good. And yes, I will miss them enormously. I can’t quite imagine life without them somehow.

17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?

Sometimes, I get so lost inside myself that I’m not.

18. What is the truest thing that you know?

The Only Way To Do It Is To Do It ~ Danny Wallace.

19. What did you want to be when you grew up?

I think I wanted to be a hairdresser, like my niece.

20. Have you ever been given a second chance?

Yes. And I’m grabbing it with both greedy paws!

Je Ne Regrette Rien De Meme

TMI Tuesday time, and this week, we’re getting a bit serious. We’re talking about things we have regretted in the past. I’d love to say that I go by Robbie Williams’ philosophy of “No Regrets, They Don’t Work” but I genuinely don’t.

Let us play…


1. Do you regret how you “lost” your virginity? If yes, why and to whom would you have preferred to have lost it?

I haven`t lost my virginity yet, but I fiercely hope I won`t regret it. It`s a sore point in my head.

2. Have you ever lived a moment in your life where you said “Yeah, I’m not going to ever tell anyone about that.” Describe that moment or incident.

Being ill earlier in the year was that moment. I was on the phone with an interviewer when I noticed an odd spot on my knee. When I came off the phone, I was horrified to discover that my entire body was dotted with red spots. I had a very bad case of hives… I have mentioned it, but I really didn`t fancy going into the details. Two days before, my face mysteriously swelled up and I couldn`t see straight. It was the most horrific week of my life.

3. Do you regret having acted on a sexual impulse? If yes, please describe.

I try my best not to act on sexual impulse, for fear of absolutely regretting the outcome.

4. Do you regret not having had sex with someone who you could have had sex? If yes, would you do it over and have sex?

Yes and yes.

5. Do you regret not having asked out or tried to hook up with someone you really liked out of fear of rejection only to later learn that person wanted you, too? If yes, please describe.

I always regret not acting on that little instinct that says “They might like you too”.

6. Do you regret having done a particular sex act? If yes, please describe.

Does sticking a paintbrush up your fanny count? If so, yes, I regret that immensely. But I was young and foolish…

Bonus: Do you regret not having told someone you love them? Romantic, not familial or friendship love.




TMI What`s The Question?

Playing TMI Tuesday a bit earlier than usual (but also not). This week, we change it up a bit. TMI provides the answers, and your favorite Barenaked Lady provides the questions. Now watch as I tame this sucker into submission.



1. Answer: My butt.

What do I like to get spanked on occasion?

2. Answer: stiletto black leather pumps

What is something I would love to own, but can`t even walk in because I look like a drunk hobo when I do?

3. Answer: hard and stiff

Describe the thing I keep thinking about, without using the actual word.

4. Answer: “By George I think he’s got it!”

What is an expression that hasn`t been used in anything in the past fifty years, apart from episodes of Poirot?

5. Answer: socks

What is that thing I obviously need more of, but don`t even have proper shoes to wear with?

6. Answer: hole in the wall

Name a sub-par BBC game show hosted by that bloke off Strictly Come Dancing who is not Bruce Forsyth, but kinda looks like his son.

Bonus: I hid them there so you wouldn’t find them.

Why did I steal the precious jade monkeys and hid them in the boiler room of the hotel in Shanghai?